FoRg|vE n FoRgEt?....

something from Oprah's caught my attention..

:: Anger is a cord that ties u to the past, of which holds you back from reaching out for your
future..
Forgiving is letting go of your past, hence allows you to pursue for your future... ::

It is, without a fact, hard to simply forgive and forget. Most people couldn't even forget, of course,
but to what extend are we gonna preserve these negative vibes inside of us? Some people took forever to just forgive too...There's no one to blame...everyone has to take their own time to deal with forgiveness, let go of any grudge...

The addiction towards anger is like exposing urself to cancer-prone environment.
I, however have my anger management to be done too...I get furious nowadays of the nonsense circling around me, of how i have to bare the sequences of not sticking my nose onto someone else's problems...sounds ridiculous? u have no idea...

Best part is, most of us had to undergo this absurd situation...absurd because someone else started the problem and at the end, fucked u up BIG TIME...why..why..why...

Life somehow resembles the gambling in Las Vegas...U lose..u lose..u lose...DING DING u WIN...
and who gets the Gs? Las Vegas...Coz they swallow every penny while ur trying ur luck on every god damn slots and games...And also, take note that Las Vegas gets ROBBED sometimes...hah there u go...When someone else is enjoying the happiness out of ur misery, one day, it'll all get zapped...What do u have to do?..CORRECTO..start all over again...

Lets all take a moment to reminisce shall we...and figure what's worth letting go..what's worth to be kept..what's worth to be dealt with..and what's worth your happiness...

*s|gH...*

You say you wander your own land
But when I think about it
I don't see how you can

You're aching, you're breaking
And I can see the pain in your eyes
Says everybody's changing
And I don't know why.

So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same.

You're gone from here
Soon you will disappear
Fading into beautiful light
'cause everybody's changing
And I don't feel right.

So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same.

So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same.

Everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same.

....sigh....

:: Everybody's Changing by Keane ::

Selamat Hari Raya...

To all my loyal readers...

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri..
Maaf Zahir je, no batin between us..hehe

Have a good one this year, and 4 many years to come...

Lotsa luv,
Liyana Zainudin...

MeMoR|eS rEm|n|sCeD...

can't help but to reminisce all the fun i had in malacca, back in year 2002...
oh god...

I miss the wackos of Group 49 (We rock! supposed to be the best group in the foundation year of management course, haha) and of course the wonkers of Group 50...

I made so many friends....
The point that i made friends with :

:: Fiza, the tragedy was that she asked me if I were Nadia's sister..haha...and i couldnt stop staring at her hypnotic watch hahaha

:: Khair, always with Fiza and Aiman..tak abis2 tersengih je when i started talking to Fiza. Never fail to not realizing whether she's in class or not coz she's the most petite..hehe no offence darls..

:: Aiman, he was the first one to talk to me...can't remember what was it regarding hehe... Anyway, Aiman, Fiza n Khair used to talk bad about me and called me and my so-called-gang, The Spoilt brats from KL hahahhaa....in the end, All three of em and me just couldn't live without each other..hhehehehe...

:: Aimi, was Eryl's housemate..the NERD in group 50..all she does is STUDY and she gets PMSed pretty quickly coz we wonkers had this habit of blasting the songs at Aimi's room and sang our heart out while dancing like monkeys..hehe

:: Eryl, is someone who has the most unique name.. Erlynna Erwin...i had trouble pronouncing her name at first haha...She and Aimi never fail to comfort me and give me motivating advices when it comes to my relationship back then...She was left alone with my ex in Malacca as all of us moved from there to Cyber for like a year? i think...hehe...

:: Nadia, was Woe's acquaintance, and i got to know her while lining up for hostel registration in Malacca...After sometime, Woe, me and her got close and ended up living in the same house in BBU...hehe...

:: Nasir, the all-italiano-wannabe guy hehe...used to have an endless big crush on Woe, every evening after orientation we'll be hearing his voice calling out for Eryl or Aimi (konon la coz their apartment was at the groundfloor, n that Nasir knew that Woe's gonna be there too hehehe)...

:: Jo Lynn and the gang hehe, the people of Group 49...the smart-asses who helped me A LOT on scoring...we all got close during the task of an English drama/act taken from a novel or so... hehe

:: Hanif Nipplez, my best buddy in Group 49...Will attend classes when i do, and will come out with excuses when i don't..heheh...all my assignments consisted of his name...and we would get "the sandwich" at Plaza Siswa EVERYDAY during break for morning classes..hahaha AND he calls himself Brandon Boyd oh perasan..hahah..still remember the time he did that...and it was the time we were on holidays in PD, all of a sudden he "emerged" from the sea behind zaza, n said "Za, cute tak, cam Brandon Boyd kan?"..hahahahhah

:: Zul, the all-time-nerd-in-disguise...all of us really believed that he's this goody goody tall guy with glasses who will never skip class or go socializing..WE WERE WRONG..hahaha He started lepaking with me, aiman, fiza n khair...and ended up being really close...me n zul would go up to any of the empty lecture/tutorial classes and studied there at night...most of the time fiza, khair, aiman and hanif would come to join in...if it wasn't for him, i won't be scoring my papers for my final semester in Malacca, i swear...hehehe

:: Evie, started being close to her during English class...somehow we became close, as she often lepak with Aiman, Fiza n Khair...Don't be fooled by this one...She looks freakin ladylike n innocent but...i dare not say more..hehe...just wait til she reveals herself to u..hahahha

:: Donna, the girl with the black Kembara..hehe...Super pemalas to go to class or to even go out lepaking...i have no idea on what she has been doing at home..hahaha...she is one wacko herself...
Now this is one person who i would proudly paste the phrase "Looks can be deceiving" on her forehead... aaaaaaahahahahahahahah

We had tons of fun...every evening you'll see the same faces at the same long table at RSU, having pisang goreng, cempedak goreng, keropok lekor and endless cigarette puffing activity...every afternoon, you'll see our faces at either Delimas or MesraMMU, gobbling our lunch...and every nite you'll see our faces at either RSU, Delimas or Bistro...hehehe...

how i wish i can go back to that time...endless laughter, endless smile, endless good food....
i miss all of u...so so much...

My 3 sToOgEs...

A|mAn sYa'AbAn
FeEzAbeLLe
kHa|r

i miss u guys so much...so so much...
:'(

NeVeR eXpEcT 2 mUcH oF eVeRyTh|n...

often times that we underestimate ourselves...
our credibilities, talents..and even the ability to bounce back again after a hard fall...
being perfect doesn't mean constituting all the good things in life....that is abnormal if u ask me...
what i call a normal human being is someone who is caring, loving, sensitive, hard-headed and pain-in-the-ass at times, not egocentric and most important ingredient of all...honest.

same goes for a perfect relationship..one that comprises of endless lovey-dovey months is what i call b.u.l.l.s.h.i.t....i dare u, give me one relationship that lasts let's say...a year without a fight...
u gotta be a person full of rage and denial at the end of your 1-year probation period, psycho...eheh

a friend of mine...whose relationship gave me all the smiles and the faith to be in a relationship once again, just ended his...never was i to expect such thing to happen...let me not say more...
when things like this happen, u stumble...u cry...u start 2 hate urself..pondering every single minute of which might appear worthy 2 u, what fault have u done...and this goes on for the next 24 hours to months to come...for some, it only took days...but for me..it took me a whole year...

after all that has happened during my lonely days, i took a glance at my past, of the days i left behind...i realized of how much time i wasted...how much love i've been restraining myself from , from the others that might have been...but i chose not to regret and fret about it... cause even though it ate up 365 days of my life, it made me a wiser person...a person that doesn't take things for granted anymore..a person who appreciates people's efforts...a person who sees time as golden nuggets laying in a definite set of distance-sequence waiting to be picked, sent down generously by the one and only, the Almighty...condition remains that u cannot turn back and pick up those u accidently missed...so just imagine how many golden nuggets have i left behind my tail...A LOT...

the past teaches u a lot on who 2 become, what 2 become..when and where are of ur own pick. if u ask me, there isn't any suitable time or place 4 anything 2 take place...u gotta make it happen coz in the end its up to ur surroundings to bring u the after-effect of such actions.. good surroundings, favourable results...bad surroundings, don't kill urself yet, everything happens 4 a reason...hehe

to my dear friend of whom i shall not reveal the name...u have been there 4 me 4 the past 2 years or so...and it is an honour that i'm the one u picked 2 be there 4 u now...i know how much it hurts...believe me, i do...and believe me when i say this...u'll get good things when u least expect it, when u don't expect anything in return and of course the most painful phrase of all, when u give urself time to heal...hold on to what u've got...hold on to that lil faith left inside of u...

just hold on...coz i'm here to help u pick up the shattered pieces...

oVeRwHeLmEd... :)

The evening started off with a great GREAT buka puasa with my loved ones...

Unfortunately Eddie had to cancel off due to his job @ Istana Budaya...kambing..Anyway...I however was late..hehe..sorry gurls...but everything turned out so darn superb..
I'm so glad n happy everyone showed up..as this will be my last Puasa+Raya in Malaysia...
Will be celebrating the next 2 come in Melbourne..uwaaaa how sad...The guys bagus btol..Smue taram baek nye perut kenyang cam ular sawa...after berbuka we went up to our room (thanx papa!) n as usual, became camera freaks..hehehehe...

eMmY...FaRrAh...fArAh...aL|a...Me...

sOf|e...HyD|r...bObBy...A.J....

Then at 12:30 am...

A call from mom came in..Saying that my sister is expected to give birth at 2:30am..
ya allah..i was so freakin excited....Got home, freshened up and pushed off...
By the time i got there, my lil sis SMSed me...

BABY ON BOARD!! IT'S A BOY!!!!

Dang!!! i missed all the screaming moaning baby uweking blablabla! hahaha
But fortunately, i got to take up the baby's pics b4 he was sent for his first bath! hehehe

Name : Mohd. Danish Eizal
Time of Birth : 2:10a.m.
Date of Birth : 8 Oct 2006
Weight : 3.45 kg

Aref n Syak, since u guys aren't here...i would like to share my joy by uploading the baby's pictures..isn't he cuteee!!

Alhamdulillah..everything went well....am so happy!!!

LoVe MoDe..hehe

Dream on... Dream away
I think I'm gonna have to stay
Stay forever

I adore... mi amor

You want to take his place
You say you'd treat me better
But, better I know for sure
You see he loves me
And i could never leave him
Never baby, never

Muchacho tu eres mi vida la ternura
Y alegria amor
Y este sueño
contigo sera verdad

Listen... my love, the guy of my dreams
And I will never leave
He's all that I need and more
I'll love him always
What more could a girl ask for
What more could I ask for

You know that I really love my baby
He can give me everything I need
There is no one to take his place
He's got my heart in his hands
Baby, I adore

Mi amor es por ti que yo vivo y por ti suspiro.
No solo hoy, solo hoy si no siempre.
Tu estrella brilla siempre en mi.
Y este sueño contigo sera realidad te quiero mucho
Baby te quiero mucho, mi amor.

you know i love you
you know i need you boy
you know that i really love my baby
he can give me everything i need
and there would never be no one that could take his place
he got my heart in his hands
you're the one that i adore
i'll be forever your love
you're the one that i wanna see
i want you to stay with me..yeah

:: edited lyrics ; I Adore Mi Amore...by Color Me Badd ::
:: dedicated just for my Nizam...i heart u.. ::

tHaNx kHa|ruL n|zAm...

sheila on 7

music song lyrics

pOnDeR pOnDeR pOnDeR...

gave a LOT of thought in my life...
of how i should become...who i should be...why i should be...when n where i should be...

typical of me to say that everything has just fell in its place...
alhamdulillah, endless gratitude to Allah...

through the years i've been wondering of how it would be...
when people often say...

:: Be with someone who loves u more than u love 'em ::

the thought first scares me...
i mean, how could u try to act as in ur in love as much as the other party does?...
now i know...
That it doesn't really "turns out" that way...
like everyone says...love will gradually grow...
believe it..cause it has just happened to me...

the thought that i would never love, trust n feel the warmth n comfort from a being...
made me push myself beyond borders of my own "standard" capabilities...
yah, everything sounds cheesy here...
but seriously...i could NOT believe a single moment of my life right now...

and to my dear friends...
i owe much of my happiness to u...
for u have been the strength on helping me devour my insecurities...
















The significant angelz by my side...

This entry is dedicated to my loved ones...

:: aL|a eMmY fArAh NaJwA fArAh NaDz aL|f FeEzAbELLe kHa|r I-mAn a|m| aReF sYak|rA sYaZaNa aL|yA a|dA cLaUd|nE aPeK eDd|e zAcK wAwA tHe tMn tUn gUyS n not to forget my everloving kHa|ruL n|zAm ::

mY hEaRt|eSt wEeKeNd...

Had a great weekend...
Making money...holiday with friends..and my first holiday with my Khairul Nizam... :)
It's super comforting to know that ur different clique of friends could actually, CLICK TOGETHER hehehe...

Emmy - my 5-year buddy and still going strong...from KJ
Wawa - my 6-year goodfriend who has int the recent years become my buddy...from KL
Aud - my 1-year friend who has also recently become a buddy...from Sarawak/Subang Jaya

Alia, Farah Najwa n Farah Nutz were missing due to own plans..hehe kiddinngg...
Next stop...DAMAI BEACH SARAWAK BAYBEEEEHH!!!

wHo wOuLd'vE tHoUgHt...

sheets cover subjects beneath it...
but do remember, sheets are made of cloth..
and no cloth aren't "see-thru"...
those that aren't will eventually be as they age...
what does that tell u?...
that underneath it all, eventually one day things will be clear...

there u were...
standing right before my eyes...
but covered with my own offensive shields...
when somehow u made me realize of who u are...
what u are...
u made me lower my defenses...
u made me uncover my shadows...
u made me flaunt credibilities...my passion...to live up my dreams...
u made me wanna trust again...
u made me think of how easy it is to be loved and cherished...
and to be trusted with miles of distance...

thank you...
Mohd. Khairul Nizam
Let September be a month to remember always...
yours truly...

eNdLeSs GrAt|tUdE...

alhamdulillah...i've finally graduated...
convo was held on 12th august...
and i'm grateful to my family for supporting me throughout my studying years and also for coming to my big day...Dad, stepmom, alia, farah, fiza n khair gave me gorgeous bouquet of flowers... thanx u guys sooooo much! had a long day, rite after convo, me, alia, farah najwa, farah nadz n aiza went to Nando's @ OU, pelahap like there's no tomorrow ok...hahah...then we went to shop @ Topshop (hahah farah nadz takde kesian heheheh)....

So many good things came my way, alhamdulillah...great friends, great achievements, great memories, great family....god, i wouldn't wanna change anything on what i have rite now...

One thing i realized...is that everybody needs a friend, a shoulder to cry on...AT LEAST one ok... and never EVER neglect ur family members....coz ur friend(s) might just bail on u, family, NEVER...u might think that ur family can be such pain in the arse, useless n so forth...in actual fact, they're the ones who really taught u on how to live ur life n not turn out to be a spoilt brat...I almost lost my bestfriend, and at that moment my world trembled so badly...i realized, the person concern plays a really HUGE part of my life...never have i ever choked n cried over a friend...and i want u 2 know, that u mean the world to me, and no one can ever replace u... EVER... and of course, i don't ever wanna lose my other close friends, u guys are my guardian angels....i wouldn't wanna lose u ever either...

:: Let it be that I die without a life companion, but I don't ever wanna die without being meaningful to others who treasure me and appreciates me 4 who I am ::

p|eRcEd mY hEaRt...HoPe 2 d|e....

Tertegun ku memandangmu
Saat kau tinggalkanku .. menangis
Bodohnya ku mangharapmu
Jelas sudah tak kau pedulikan cintaku

Mestinya telah kusadari
Betapa perih cinta tanpa balasmu
Harusnya tak ku paksakan
Bila akhirnya kan melukaiku

Mungkin ku tak akan bisa jadikan dirimu kekasih
Yang seutuhnya mencintaiku
Namun kurelakan diri
Jika hanya setengah hati
Kau sejukkan jiwa ini

Ku hanya terus berharap
Satu hari kau mampu .. sadari
Tiada yang pernah mengerti
Sepertiku setulus hati mencintaimu

:: Setengah Hati by Ada Band ::
~sob....

:....(

Ever since you left me
I've been trying to hide the pain
Painting on a smile with lipstick
Putting on a big charade
So difficult to keep pretending
It's getting harder everyday
It's plain to see I'm cold and heartsick
Since you turned and walked away
I just keep going round and round
And round in circles
Keep on tumbling down

Oh boy my world has changed
And I don't think I can make it without you
Nothing's the same
You got me running around in circles over you
(running around in circles over you)

Saturday I saw you
Holding hands with someone new
Somehow I kept my composure
Just like everything was cool
But inside I kept repeating
Don't you let them see you cry
So I casually turned my head
As the tears rolled down my eyes
I just keep going round and round
And round in circles
Keep on tumbling down

Everything is you
How can I pull through
My heart is consumed I'm so confused
Still caught up in you...love can be so cruel
Baby don't know how to turn you loose

:: Circles by Mariah Carey ::

Let's See Who's Go|n dOwN n WhO'S nOt...HAH!

well...well...well....
turns out God loves me after all! haha....
U fucked me up BIG TIME, now it's ur turn to pay....
oh how i love the sound of KARMA....
Manipulate, lie to both of us all u want, u just don't know what's coming after u....
We'll see how ur gonna end up twisting stories and manipulating urself...AHAH AHAH AHAH!

Oh let me enjoy this moment of glory....ALHAMDULILLAH...
Thank u God for snapping my head just in time....

YOU ARE SO FUCKED....and the best part is, U'LL BE FUCKED BY US....woohoo!!

TeArS fRoM mY HeArT....

It came over me in a rush
When I realized that I love you so much
That sometimes I cry, but I cant tell you why
why I feel what I feel inside

How I try to express what's been jugglin' my mind
But still can't find the words
But I know that something's got a hold of me

Baby, some day I'll find a way to say
just what you mean to me
But if that day never comes along
and you don't hear this song
I guess you'll never know that...

And when I say inside, I mean deep
You fill my soul with something I cannot explain
What's over me

thank u...everyone...

Baru ku sedari....
cintaku bertepuk sebelah tangan....

and so the song goes....felt so devastated...heard n sang along to it @ RP....

thank u to all of u....for being so patient on making me realize what i've been missing, how i took my life for granted, and how i wasted my love for somebody who doesn't feel the same way, when i could actually save it for someone else who appreciates it...sacrificed my life for nothing....
thank u..thank u...thank u....for ur endless love n support...

:: Alia, Emmy Safina, Farah Nadz, Farah Najwa, Khair, Feeza, Aiman, Balee, Syazana, Azura, Imran, Kak Ina, Syakira, Aref, Bob, Nizar, Abg Aidi, Abg Wadi, Yan, Pak Din, and my lovely family ::

I really appreciate ur kindness and friendship...luv u guys very very much...

|t |s t|mE....

Monday...

Received an sms from my dear friend...told me that his gf left him...why? let me tell u why..

SHE : busy with events...work, work, work....calls and sms from him, BARELY answered... goes out with him for breakfast/lunch/dinner like at MOST twice a week...

HE : calls her like twice a WEEK to just say hi...sends her to work everytime she's posted here...

Suddenly....
SHE : didn't pick up his call, didn't answer his sms on a weekend...truth fact, she went out clubbing with friends n one of them happened to be his friend...didn't even tell him about it(not that it was a big fuss, but hell, at least sms him back n tell him la kan, susah sgt ke?)...n fact was they haven't seen each other for more than a week...

HE : found out she went out clubbing...sms-ed her n told her he knew about it...then received endless panic responses from her....

THEN...
SHE : called him up, tak puas ati...bcoz kene tegur by him...said goodbye, slams down the phone while he was talking, n turned off her phone right away...

HE : called her back constantly, failure...sms-ed Een for advice n comfort...

EEN : told him to just leave it..sebab she was too freakin childish...biase la, budak baru keje, dpt banyak duit, lupe dunia...she couldn't even bother to sms back saying maybe she's busy or just to say hi after office hours...couldn't even pick up his phone calls at nite, for god sake...CEO pon tak busy camtu la...

Rite after that, the most dreadful moment happened..i was strucked so badly from what i saw.. i was too broken to even cry a tear...got back to dad's n everything just flashed in front of my eyes...what the HELL am i doing?!! I'm giving advices to a friend of similar situation, n here i am, NOT doing anything of my own pathetic situation..REALITY just checked-in...and i knew at that moment, I HAD to do it....i had to take up all the risks to hurt, to lose and to just let go...if things were meant 2 be, then it'll happen again...but at this point, n i believe in even years to come, the subject in concern is n will be annoyed, angry at me....probably he'll just puke whenever we see each other...i'm sorry for what happened...put urself in my shoes n tell me that ur not living a pathetic life...can u?...no one can..coz that's just REALITY...n the old Liyana would be DENYING reality...so, no more old Liyana...

The new Liyana is emerging...and she's taking one step further everytime...n she's LEAVING...
From heart to head...i'm finally THINKING straight...for everyone's sake...it hurts me like FUCK i swear....cried so many tears...n did he?...i dun think so..coz he's too busy with his life n his precious one...oh well, at least he has a life...and so will i....u just don't know what u got til it's gone..and mine has gone for a year in actual fact..i felt it, but he didn't....n i'm not gonna play his game anymore...i'm breaking down...AGAIN...how pathetic...

So this is it...this is GOODBYE....

I LuV LuV LuuuuuV my L|fE!!!!

first n foremost... thank u Syakira Mazrah...4 dragging me along to meet up with the tmn tun peepz...ya allah best gile...made a dozen more friends...totally changed my world k...these guys r so freakin friendly...baru knal dah tiu masing2....God knows how happy these people made me!
And u know what else la kan Syak...ahahahaha....

:: Alia just got back from UK...smuorg angau Alia hahahaha....damn u woman, jgn pegi lame2 lagi k! Now am gonna bug ur life to the fullest! ::
:: Emmy is forever busy with her endless events at LUCT...and her neverending social nites...haha My dear Emmy....SLOW DOWN woman! hahaha kang terbalik susah babe! ::
:: Farah Najwa, started class last week...so, goodbye lepaking with Farah...dammit... ::
:: Farah Nadz, forever has free time 4 me...entertaining me with her infectuous laughter hahaha... thanx for the swimming session, oh wait, make that sessionS as there r more to come! hehe Sofie, jgn kacau! i nak tenet ngan Farah plak, dah la u dok culik her 4 breakfast, mane aci!::
:: Syak's flying off this Sunday...Es tonto! why on earth do u have 2 go back to Perth too early! Xpe, she's off for a good reason, pursuing her Masters in politics..GO SYAK! am proud of u! ::
:: Aref's going back to Canberra on Sunday as well....man...TOO SOON i swear! too little time spent with him...sedey...Aref, nanti i'll give u more surprise phone calls k! :) 6 more months to go Boe, U CAN DO IT!! ::
:: Feeza is busy with her internship...miss u like hell....bile nak bagi her HRC stuff pon i tatau, ntah bile masing2 free....uwaaa :( ::
:: Khair is busy with classes and assignments...sorry khair i lame tak turun Cyber...nanti we'll meet up 4 lunch or sumthin k... ::
:: Zana, recently hooked up with this UIA guy...she's super happy n in love...am VERY happy 4 u lil sis...told ya one day "HE" will come....hehe ::
:: Alif tak reti2 nak balik from Ohio, working his ass off kat sane...ey, org smue nak convo la babe, and ur missing! Donkey!! Make sure u buzz us once u arrive, else we'll hunt u down u mofo! :p ::
:: Aimi is also busy with internship..well...it has been so long since we last lepak kan aimi... aimi bile dtg mood gile die mule la, ckp ngarut online...hahah it's so hard to catch her attention ahaha::

Been spending quite a lotta time with Bob n Mie over the past few days...melayan kerenah bodo diorg...endless...endless...hahaha...It's so good to have witty friends....Bob, jage sikit ur hair, i tarik kang tak jadi Ronaldinho dah! hahaha..Mie dah join the other side, his friends smue yg suke buat org tterperanjat tgh2 malam! ahahahhaha

As stated in my previous entry....u lose one, God replaces u with 10....and the figure is closing in... ahahahaha...i just lost one...and here comes few more! And currently am pretty happy with those who came along the line...i likey! hahahahaha...it's BAD to put up names and descriptions here as it may cause discretions and offences...so....BEEP...probably these people already knew what i have in mind! which appears to be relatively embarassing....eheh... :p

GOD IT'S GREAT BEING THIS WAY!! WOOOOHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOO!!!