Sunday, November 27, 2011

:: And The Journey Begins ::

hats off to our moms. they were truly the super moms.
recalling my mom's life:

wake up to prepare breakfast for the whole family.
wake the children and prep up for school.
chuck clothes in the washing machine.
get ready for work.
make sure the kids are all seated at the table for breakfast.
get the husband to come down and have breakfast together.
train the kids to slowly bring their own dirty dishes to the kitchen sink, and wait patiently as they wash.
send kids to school. go to work.
make sure bus driver picks up kids from school in the afternoon.
come home and do some cleaning - be it the floor, toilet, etc.
bathe, cook for family. dinner has to be ready before 8pm.
get everybody to wash up and ready at the table by 8.
clean up by 9pm. get children to do some school homework if they hadn't done much in the afternoon, or light revision.
do some ironing.
get the kids to bed by 10pm.

despite my mom having a maid (or two at one point), most of the chores and cooking are done by her, as she believes women will always be women. they belong in teh kitchen, and they have to be modest enough to master the house chores.

i've been trying to do all that, but of course really drained myself out for the first few months. and that, given the fact that i dont have kids. i dont know how our mothers did it back then. i cannot imagine myself doing all those with kids around. alhamdulillah as time goes by, i kinda get the hang of things a little bit, and with the help of the husband, the house looks neat :)

i do not understand people out there who claimed themselves SUPERMOMS when all they did was taking care of the child, entertaining their husbands and doing business at home, in their own sweet time and pace, at the comfort and expense of their parents (STILL!). I mean come on, you barely get your hands on house chores, u LIVE still with your parents, you live LAVISHLY at their expense (whilst your husband sweats their bums off trying to "provide" for you and your expensive style of living) and you have people taking care of your child while you go off and have your husband-wife time off, girls night out, girls breakfast outing, girls retail outing, girls coffee break and girls mani pedi. and you have the balls to self-proclaim SUPERMOM? seriously? i'm sorry, but from what i see, you're nothing but a brat. on top of that, you have the guts to be telling people how greaatt and carefree life as a husband and wife is. knock knock, are u even real? stop giving people false expectations will ya? of course it's easy on your side, coz you've got "slaves" serving you.

but then again, what on earth are these self-proclaimed supermoms' parents doing? aren't they supposed to teach their children to manage their own lives? i mean, as a parent, you're supposed to teach your child how to fish, instead of bluntly giving them a fish, right? no wonder divorce cases plummeted over the years. these sort of married couples are the ones (to me) contributing to most of the cases. not just because maybe something bad happened and they couldnt cope on living below their usual par, but also maybe because they led people to become "victims" of translation, upon their exaggeratingly portrayed contented, carefree lives - which indirectly of course led the victims onto filing for divorce. u get my drift?

then comes juvenile cases. from rape to murder. what shall become of the future, our kids. it's so painful to see human intelligence being wasted. an outcome of simple and "harmless" injection of technology. the irony. how bad can things get over the years.

i had a somewhat contentment when i went for my 1-week leadership camp. a week in the jungle, sleeping in the camp, cooking my own meal the military way, drinking fresh water from the river, appreciating every bit of food and liquid that goes through this throat and keeping the tummy out of hunger. i felt that every part of my body were given turns to be appreciated. i, felt appreciated. and so i brought that vibe home. and i have since swore to aggressively minimize my complaints and do whatever i can to maintain a healthy home, and a healthy relationship with everyone around me. literally because i felt appreciated, out of my own efforts. my motto form now on is "just do it. complaint less, and enjoy everything that you do". insyaallah you'll be fine. well, alhamdulillah, i'm doing fine so far :)

as to the newly weds out there, there isn't anything specific for you as an advice. though my only advice is, once you've got involved into something, take new challenges as it is. live your life day by day, enjoy it. do it slowly, staggeringly. take your time. once u complaint, that's when negativity swoops in. smile, breathe, recite your bismillah, recite your alhamdulillah, recite your "istighfar" - astaghfirullahal'adzim. no matter what religion you are, try to thank god for everything, always. ask for forgiveness, ask for strength, ask for faith, ask for calm and peace. hopefully we shall all minimize the negativity around us.
Posted on by d|aBoL|c e'En | 2 comments

Thursday, August 25, 2011

:: The Good and The Awesome ::

and so. I now pronounce myself, WIFE :)

June 25th saw me being married to this humble man i've dated for almost 5 years. Syukur alhamdulillah everything went well, and with Bob's endless support and not to mention patience on my countless rants, we are now the new Mr and Mrs Khairul Nizam :)

Some may already new, some may have not. The wedding reception was held at De Palma Hotel, Shah Alam. Yes, I was my own wedding planner. I was literally still running up and down, hotel room to dinner hall 3 hours before my wedding. Why 3 hours u ask? Because I had my hair done first for a solid hour, thanks to my ever-so-awesome hairstylist whom has been doing my hair for the past 8 years! Philip, no one understands this ridiculous hair more than you do! :) So, make-up was done by my very own sister Tina, and it took torturous 2 hours to get it done. Yes, was indeed a complete torture because I had to have my head up straight due to my nicely done hair. awesome possum. i had to deal with a stiff neck for the rest of the week!

Dresses. My solemnization (nikah) dress was by none other than Nazleen Noor. A close friend's sister whom treated me just as professional and as warm. She made my life soooo easy; she understood what sort of dress i wanted. Thanks also to Shafiza Azali for buying the super awesome cloth and lace for the dress back in 2008 (yeap, i kept it for 3 years!) in Bandung. I think Nazleen didn't have too much of a hassle anyway because I had the dress drawn in my head, it's just the matter of translating. Nazleen did just as so, just as I imagined it would be. I almost had tears in my eyes when I saw the dress done for the first time, paired with a custom-made shoe, and a very modest and subtle veil, and a very elegant-looking gold tiara to match my matte-gold dress. It was the PERFECT wedding outfit. just, perfect. And the Baju Melayu for Bob? Just as perfect! Nazleen went to get the cloth for his, and had it done very neatly, to go with a hand-sewn, Terengganu white with pastel coloured flowers "sampin" i bought for Bob as a wedding gift :)

As for the reception's dress and tux, we rented them out from Bridal House in SS2. It was white, with silverish embroideries, and comes along with a 3/4 sleeved- small jacket. Bob's tux was off-white, which came with a white cravat and off-white vest. We chose to have his shirt, cravat and napkin customized at a tailor in Summit USJ, and the final product was over the top. They were all very neatly done (and of course, cost us some great money :P) and goes so well with the rented tux. My sister Tina sponsored me an Enzo Angiolini pair to my surprise, and I sponsored Bob's :)

The Aussies came down for both events, and even had their share of Perhentian Island! Apart from being so supportive and helpful, they injected some massive cheap medicine into my days of stress and panic, soothing both Bob and I with a snap of a finger at times in need. I owe heaps to them, for adding so much joy to the wedding and the preps, and for spending so much money just to be there for me, with those lovely chiffon chili-red dress purchased on their own, just to walk with me down the isle as my 5 Bridesmaids.

And then there was Fiza and Emmy, my Master of Ceremony(s) for the night. They put in so much effort and had so many sessions with me on running through the scripts. They were also so very proactive in making sure that the dinner reception goes well. It indeed was, a very smooth-sailing, and QUICK wedding reception. With the help of my other friend Roudha and dear cousin Effendy as my floor and AV managers, the wedding was indeed a memorable one.

Hats off to the bridesmaids, the MCs, and the floor and AV managers for your excellence. Guests and family enjoyed the wedding so much, and my parents for the first time, was so care-free. From the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for everything. You guys will forever have a spot in this mental-archive of ours :)

I would like to apologize to so many friends that I either am not able to invite, or i bluntly forgot about. I hope you understand that my guest count was very limited (since it's a seating event), and I must admit, I was so tired and was so close to losing my mind on preparing for my big day. I truly am sorry. especially to my dear friend anas hazwan and family, I am sorry I didn't extend the invitations to you guys. I swear I wrote your names on my list, but I must've have accidently canceled them off when I had to filter more than 50 guests that night. Turns out that almost 5 tables were empty for the reception, due to traffic congestions and lack of parking space since there was a night market just behind the hotel that very same night.

But alhamdulillah, everyone was happy, the bride and groom were happy, the guests were happy, and the family; contented. Thank you so much everyone for making it happen :)

p/s: I have now officially worn my hijab. no, not because my husband told me to, but simply because i felt that it was the right time :)

Snippets of the wedding shall be uploaded soon.
Posted on by d|aBoL|c e'En | 4 comments

Thursday, June 02, 2011

:: June 3rd, 2011 ::

so, anas hazwan is back on blogger. yeaaaaaaaaaaaayy! anas had a very strong effect on my frequency of writing (or more like typing in this case) back in those days. anas, a bit sad to say, that i still have not gotten the grrooovveee back. maybe u went missing too long yeah? probably :P

as usual, everytime i have things to write, reality steals me away. growing old with commitments isn't cool man. do u have any idea how much i had to share. man i can go on for pages!

Chapter 1: The Wedding

So. 3 more weeks, insyaallah, and I'll be wedded to the one i call my heart, my soul, my confidant, my home. yes, no one makes me feel as safe and as comfy. Just got hold of the Borang Nikah, and will start filling them up tomorrow with Bob dearest. Yes many would think we're crazy only to be filling those forms now, i can assure u, we're not. :) coz we've got the kadi booked since february :) alhamdulillah....thanks to dad and friends of course for making this a lot easier for us.

1st fitting - check. next one in 1-2 weeks' time.
Solemnization doorgifts - check
Reception doorgifts - received.
Tents - check.
Dowry - check.
Everything else - CHEEEECCCKKKK!

alhamdulillah everything's quite smooth-sailing now due to the super early preparations. the stress i'm facing now is pertaining my weight, and bodyshape. yes i am overly conscious on how i look like neck-down solely because i can't seem to fit any of my pants anymore. and because of that, i've dragged a friend to go jogging and short striding with me for 2 consecutive days, 10km each day. yeap that's how desperate i am, i'm really sorry if i sounded too pathetic :P

Chapter 2: The PMS

anyway, here's another a bitttt stressful issue i'm facing with. I actually have friends whom bluntly mocks me in social networks. well i think, if a person is able to do that ever so carelessly for the public to read, then i'm sure that this same person will have nil shame nor guilt in not just mocking, but also criticizing another like there's no tomorrow with the absence of electronics.

Chapter 3: The Ignorance

Ignorance is bliss, and so they say. no way, i dont find it blissful in any way. To me, ignorance is the perfect way to not develop and learn, what more to appreciate. Ignorance is a bit heartless, and ignorance may hurt another being.

Chapter 4: The Goal

Pray harder, ask for everyone's forgiveness, get everything ready in 14 days, get some teeth scaling done, have a spa/massage, cut and treat hair. Recite lots of Al-Fatihah, Bismillah, Hasbiyallah, 3 Kul, Ayat Kursi and Selawat til my throat gets dry, and until i am announced as Mrs Mohd Khairul Nizam. Insyaallah :)

Til I have better stories to tell, have a good friday, a good weekend, and a good night's sleep :)

Saturday, March 12, 2011

:: Weekend On, Weekend Off. What.On.Earth? ::

bummer didn't snap pictures just now.

Had a good breakfast with mom, and decided to buzz my darling neighbours Alya and Nadya! After soooo many years (although we live just 100 metres apart) of not catching up, we finally took the little time we have to update on the years lost. Alya and Nadya indeed have not changed at all; still the super sweet, fun, and joyful sisters we met 13 years ago :) And it was so fortunate of Alya to be around Malaysia with her kids at this time, given that Japan is badly hit by the quake and tsunami. Yup, Alya got married to a Japanese yo! and Nadya soon to be wed too! So off they went to the places I recommended in SS2 to get Nadya's wedding gown :) oh oh can't wait to be around to help Nad with her prep!

As for I, i'm off to get my wedding cards later on with Mr. Fiance! yeay! 300 cards are ready to be distributed, can't wait to see them!

On another note.

Supposed to be at work today, in Bangi for our SOP revamp. But don't think this moody body could stand the stress and coldness, AND, to be in focus for such long hours. Not only my fever's only coming to a subside, but my throat's getting itchier, and this nose is getting runnier, and my ovary decideds to give me a cold hard PMS. yes, i would like to share that my period has been on halt for 3 days due to my illness; or more maybe due to the antibiotics and other pills i had to take. reaaally distrupts my cycle i tell u! grrrrrrrrrrrrr

So what's new. Hmmmm probably nothing much.
Still working hard to lose all these CONCRETE fat, and tone up some muscles so that I'll look yummy for my wedding, and the days after. LOL. Of course you gotta be a yummy wife and mom okay ladies! Remember that Islam did stress on women having have to look good for the husband okay. So don't go all ugly or too carefree about your appearances, then blaming your husband for looking at others. You too have to play your roles well in maintaining a good and healthy family, yes? Indefinitely!

My wife-type idol hence this day forward will be the all famous Hana Tajima, my friends Ewa, Puan Nanako, Fiza Jai, and Salimah. Simply because they're super hot and slim, and working hard at the same time, AND they NEVER forget to be a better Muslim everytime :)

Hmm....maybe insyaallah when I decided to wear the hijab, i shall go for Hana's style? :P Well, u GOTTA look good yeah? LOL.

Til another day, have a good weekend off peeps. I'm off to another hectic one til March ends!
Posted on by d|aBoL|c e'En | 2 comments

Friday, March 11, 2011

:: Geeewhiiizzzzz ::

March's a month where I shall have endless rants.
I'm tired, i'm not well, and I have tons of work, courses, and outstations.

Wish me luck. i'm in deep s***.

p/s: uncle shaf, if ur reading this, please ignore my humble rants. LOL!

Thursday, March 10, 2011

:: 107 Days ::


Has been 5 months since i last penned. FIVE months. not funny. nope. that's how little time i had to even THINK about expressing myself through the one and only medium that has served me so well over the past 6 years.

Updates. hmm. as per title mentioned, insyaallah it'll be in 107 days that i am officially wedded to the love of my life, the only person i've given almost all my time, strength, focus, heart and soul to for almost 5 years to date. Alhamdulillah, preparations have been smooth-going as we've not only planned and got almost everything done months before the day comes, but also because papa has been so supportive to help us through and booked us the hall. THAT, was the initiation stage. yup, after almost 2 years of both Bob and I talking and discussing in the air over matters relating to the lifetime commitment, we are finally counting days and sweating blood and tears in hopes for it to be the wrapping up of my family's wedding ceremonies, insyaallah. Correct, I am, the last in the family to get hitched, but I am not fretting, alhamdulillah, i am very pleased.

Still going strong with my job, with friends, mended the crooked ties with everyone dear to me, and trying very much to be a better person. I know i have not made progress in changing, i have no idea why. I would so love to blame the stressful job, and the average pay, and the not-slim-enough physique...and the ugly hair. maybe i'm not thankful enough to Allah for giving me soooo much, in actual fact. maybe i am too envious of those rich kids who live a good life, eating healthy food, having their weekly manicure/pedicure, bi-weekly hair treatments at the salons, having fancy dinners every fortnightly, driving expensive cars, not having the slightest hardship of getting money to get married or even to have kids of their own...and the list goes on.

and here i am, portraying that nothing bothers me, when all i'm left is just a third of the salary i get for my daily living, which of course includes food, toiletries, fuel, toll charges and bills. no, i'm not lucky enough like some of you who got hitched to rich kids or already rich and established men/women, in which leads you to zero worry onto thinking of what'll happen if you got into an accident etc? savings are nearly impossible with all these debts. what more to have a comfortable life? I guess this is the test Allah has lined up for me. maybe THIS will help me become a different person, a whole lot better one. simply because, i, have not been totally grateful for the things that came in my way. and because i did not save the tens of thousands i could've had for my future undertakings.

I shall learn to save more. I shall learn to listen and take my darling Bob's advices seriously. I, shall become a better Muslim. I, shall become a happy person.

And i forgot how good it feels like to write. It does take my burden away. :) Thank you Allah, for making us humans such geniuses, and having the thought of devicing and inventing this internet, and hence blogspot. And thank you readers, my loyal readers for stopping by and check out what I have to say, and probably argue here and there, for your arguments have helped me grow and see things in different perspectives - that I, am not alone in this world. and that harmony exists with the blend of tolerance, anger, perspectives, beliefs, culture, religion, self-righteousness, confidence, esteem, knowledge, science and logic, and not to forget, experiences. harmony is so complex, yet achievable in every way possible. God is great.

Need to list down songs for the band to play for the dinner reception, bi-lingual, yes, both Malay and English as my bridesmaids are Aussies, oh, and a Kiwi, and a Swedish. cool aye? :)

Now, which lucky songs will be in my list?. Head-throbbing session begins.

.107 days-counting begins.
Posted on by d|aBoL|c e'En | 2 comments