Saturday, May 20, 2006

L|v|nG L|fE aS | sHouLd...

since valentine's day, a quote from syak's lovely card has been reminding me of what should be reminded to ALL...

:: Good things come to those who wait ::

couldn't agree more...my first few months were devastating, intolerable,painful...
i've waited...like a fool, i did...waited n waited but all that came swooming were BSs...
so i decided to stop waiting...n live my life as i should've...
putting up a smile was the hardest thing to do...

to a certain point, devastation will eventually becomes ignorance...substantially then becomes happiness...thank u syak...for the constant reminder...i'm grateful to u...
i thought too hard...too foolishly...and it brought me to a dead end...
a phrase that caught my eye the other day was from Feezabelle...but with a twist...

:: Being alone is so much better than to be in luv with sumbody who's not in luv with u...or probably sumone who's not even sure of his/her own capacity of luving the other ::

point taken...i am so happy with the life i'm leading rite now...i've never thought that life is as great as this...i've learned so much...and smiling...laughing so much...the last time i had all these was when i was 16...and gosh...how i would luv to keep my life this way forever...oh well, at least here i know how great n fair God is...

:: Lose one, He'll replace u with 10 ::

it's funny to see how fickle people are...not just on their attitude...fickle on thoughts, decisions, words...EVERYTHING...one minute they say they adore u...on the other minute they say they adore sumone else...hmm...MEN...oh how i wish they could just keep their birds in their pants.. :)

most of us often neglect the luv 4 ourselves...n i've never figured how signifant that is, until it stroke me hard...n i've learnt to not expect anything in return at all...ape ade, ambik je la..
alhamdulillah...smue kuase tuhan...

My deepest gratitude to all...thank u for believeing in me..supporting me and tolerating with me..
u guys played a huge roll on helping me become that happy person again... :)
Posted on by d|aBoL|c e'En | 4 comments

Friday, May 05, 2006

my platforms of emotions...

it's true when they say, God will never give u what u ask for..
u gotta EARN it...strive for it...

things haven't been easy lately...
first it was my endless weekly presentations, quizzes, assignments and the BIG BROTHER final year project...
then came the remorse of an immediate family member...it was superbly unpredicted...
that night at about 9p.m., allahyarham's two children were just at the hotel spending time with him, when all of a sudden everything went wrong...
9a.m...
I was suddenly woken up from my sleep which lasted only for about 5 hours, by an irritating ringing tone..it was my mom...
For years, i have not heard that voice, so full of sorrow..mom was crying, grieving...told me that my uncle died...cause of death, suspected hyper pressure...i went speechless, ran down to wake my uncle up, who was snoring his way to la la land...
2006 is a s***ty year...everyone just..DIED...ya allah what on earth is happening...

His death opened up my eyes n heart...to live life to the fullest...
I've been waiting for things that aren't coming anywhere in the near future, or probably ever...
I should've instead grabbed every opportunity that came my way...not sitting there like a loser waiting 4 somebody to spoonfeed me...wasted my time there...
just when i feel so s***ty, with the continuous unfavourable dreams, an sms came in right after i slammed my precious notebook close...a goodnite sms from the 1 n only...made me smile n i had a pretty darn good dream... :) it was the same night my uncle died tragically...
The next morning was full of mourning, a sad sad morning...tried to just keep calm n be strong for my mother...after a few hours, an anonymous call came in...
It was my first puppy lover...Told me he misses me, n that he dreamt of me being so thin, as if my life has been superbly miserable..oh how sweet...he put up a smile back on my face... :)

all day long i was thinking..what the hell have i been doing?...what on earth have i been thinking, doing things that i've done?..its like i'm taking my LIFE for granted, BIG TIME...
til it just came to a point that i stop wondering...look back n smile...n that was all that i could do...
n how i wish it will never fade away...how i miss being in that state...where smiling was my favourite routine...n where my favourite fairytales come true... :...(
Posted on by d|aBoL|c e'En | 3 comments