Thursday, August 25, 2005

bReAkDoWn...

just when i thought life was going great again..arghh...
god backstabbers are like everywhere around me...
freakin dengki people tak habis2, takde keje lain ke weih...
patut ar malaysia tak maju, tgk ar perangai sekor2 camne...&*$684#$&w!!!
working life tak jadi, family tak jadi, anak2 tak jadi, diri sendiri lagi la jgn cite tak jadi ape!
F*** sial....

:: i need sumbody uplifting...sumbody to save me just when i'm a few inches above hell...
sumone who i can rely on everytime without any expectations of favour in return...

life is hard, i know...everything is...don't ask for too much, as i was told over and over again...
but when is it just enough?...when is it too little?...ya allah give me the strength...::
Posted on by d|aBoL|c e'En | 4 comments

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

NeW rYtHm....

i've officially moved....
there's a new spark...
gonna take my chances...
no doubts, no regrets, just determination...
gonna heat things up...
let's see how this'll turn out...
bismillahirrahmanirrahim...

Thursday, August 18, 2005

tHe sWeEtEsT sOnG...

I've been down
now I'm blessed
I felt a revelation coming around
I guess its right, it's so amazing
everytime I see you I'm alive
you're all I've got
you lift me up
all my dreams are in your eyes

I wanna be inside your heaven
take me to the place you cry from
where the storm blows your way
I wanna be earth that holds you
Every bit of air you're breathin' in
A soothin' wind
I wanna be inside your heaven

When minutes turn to days and years
When mountains fall, I'll still be here
holdin you until the day I die
and I wanna be inside your heaven
Take me to the place you cry from
Where the storm blows your way

** InS|dE uR hEaVen **

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

DeBuGg|nG hUmAnS..|s tHaT pOsS|bLe?

We often fail to realize that WE humans are equipped with "bugs"....We often forget who we are in the first place...Extreme insecurtity, neglectivity, naivity, vanity (this is my opinion), negativity and affirmitivity are the bugs i was referring to earlier on...

The reason why some of us managed to appear "superior" is because they're smart enough to wrap themsleves with a thin-almost transparent blinds as to avoid potraying their real-selves. It's not to say that this behaviour is wrong, but more to say that this acts as a "defensive" shield upon being condaminated by normal humans...People nowadays envy each other upon achieving success and superiority as they really think that this will show how "powerful and in control" they are... No doubt about it that some of these species really made it to the top with normal human problems, but as to others, they suffer a more complicated way of living...

Coming to the other "blinds" users, there are those who "misused" it for their selfish desires... The fact that they are so smart and slick makes them the "temporary-superiored-ones"... Despite all the "intelligence", these species somehow would get themselves caught in between their ass n shit...and when that time comes, they'll bring out their secret weapon of mass sympathy....The sob stories of what happened in the past, the rage, agony, upbringing and so forth just seem to work everytime...hmm....i wonder why...

And then comes the "extreme low self-esteem ones"...where all the "bugs" have invaded the human body, mind and soul severely...Its an almost "no god damn way to help u" kinda situation when it comes to them, as they succumb to ultimate negativity...I was in that area honestly....and believe that i am still 40% in there...which means..NOT GOOD....I despised myself so much all my teenage years as I tried too hard to make myself feel "belonged" to the people around me...yekhh...whatever...

And lastly my favourite species..the "moderate ones"...I see myself halfway there.. partly am still stuck in the "extreme low self-esteem species", which made me unhappy half of my life...Well time for a change...I see this species often gets everything in moderate..happiness, anger, sadness, whatvere u name it...It's good in everyway....Makes u a modest and kind person of which everyone loves and there's nothing too bad or too good to define these people...They're just..PLAIN MODERATE!...

Lets not be judgemental to others...As it is, we humans created these species ourselves so live with it...if ur not happy, then try to pick the species most likely to make u happy...I know I am so far..
Posted on by d|aBoL|c e'En | 4 comments

Saturday, August 13, 2005

sP|LL|nG uP tHe bEaNs....

Feeza and Khair..watch out...I've got terrifying news for both of U...
Told Emmy, Alia, Fara and Aiman...as usual, Aiman thought somehow it was a favour..

Because of u, Aiman..Ok..i'll stop it...come to think of it...hahah kinda baseless...
Childish behaviour i must say...

Good thing happened is that i'm no longer a half-filled glass..Next week, no more KJ...hope all turns out well.looking forward to it somehow...

This is MY LIFE...This is MY BLOG..These are MY WORDS..These are MY thoughts....
So if u feel like criticizing me upon my personality instead of my work, FUCK OFF...

God Bless...

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

A b|tCh w|LL aLwAyS bE a B|tCh...

read the title...whoever yg terase bende tuh nak kene kat die or sesape related dgn die bagus la.. sedar la sikit kite ni manusia, cerita senang sgt spread, jadi kalau nak menyundal ngan org tu pon fikir2 la sikit dulu ok...
If u are into "changing" ur stupid high school attitude, then do sumthing about it, prove people wrong, bukan buat bende sorok2, bodoh...Kan dah kate, sooner or later the truth will surface..

I don't know la why people find the pleasure of being with sumbody they "love", pas2 blakang bole share air liur ngan org lain..yg lagi best, dah commited lame, siap kate nak sehidup semati... ya allah gile sundal...

Igt sikit, u buat kat org bukan pasal kononnye u kene banyak kali from org, tapi sememangnye ade sumthin wrong with u wahai setan, sedar2 la sikit...Gile sial, igt perangai high school dok share org tuh dah abis la bile dah besar ni, rupenye masih giat...Bukan nak mulut celupar ok, tapi fikir la, skang nih senang2 kene STD and etcetra...So u think by doing things behind ur "loved" ones skang doesn't mean that the person ur flirting with can't do that to u as well?..

Ya rabi, bukak la mate sikit..Face reality will u...If u can hurt person A n goes flirting with person B, why do u think person B can't do the same to u later on?...Tunggu la sampai one day u tetibe got attached so much with a person, pastu that person leaves u baek nye...Time tuh nak tersembam ke nak bunuh diri ke bagus gak la...Fikir la ape sial u dah buat....

Like i said before...dunia nih penuh ngan kaki report...so mesti la cerita senang spread..Yeah, u can be happy now coz u've "won" one part of a person sampai die sanggup tipu "the loved one"... tapi sampai bile?....heh...bodoh tuh tetap bodoh la..belaja la sampai mati pon sorry to say la, tuhan saje taknak bukak hati bagi pandai sebab ur genitals are made for free...

Lagi sedap malapetaka kene bile "kawan makan kawan"...Sebuta2 yg bole kite dibuatnye percaye that he/she is a true friend, takde nye nak buat sial ngan ur "loved one"..alih2 die pulak yg stim bile lepak ngan ur "loved" one...Gile fucked up sial perangai....ish ish ish...LAGI BEST bile ur "loved" one pon melayan...uuuhh terbaek nye! Lagi satu bonus point bile ur "friend" yg goes flirting with ur "loved" one tuh bole plak at the same time tunjuk konon die baek sgt kat ur "loved" one, bukan aje die dah commited, siap bole go holding hands ngan ur own bestfriend ( of which he/she is stupid enuf not to know la kan that the other person is ur bestfriend)Pastu ur "loved" one pon cam igt he/she tuh buat mcm2 ngan ur "loved" one tuh je...silap la kan, mesti la ur bestfriend report! Due2 bodoh....he/she ngan ur "loved" one...Same bodoh...

Now do u guys see why i don't have that many number of friends? This is why... banyak sangat kawan makan kawan...susah gile nak carik the good n trustworthy ones...
Thanx i shall say to Alia, Emmy, Farra, Feeza, Khair and Farah Nadz for being my TRUE girlfriends...Apek n Aiman thanx for being my TRUE guyfriends...

I speak on behalf of EVERYONE and especially my beloved friends and myself who have been cheated so many times...I wonder when will the good things come to the good ones? Wallahualam...
Posted on by d|aBoL|c e'En | 7 comments

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

bLaMe FeEzA n ErKs...


You Are Edward From "Edward Scissorhands."

You are very shy and often misunderstood. Innocent, sweet, and artistic, you like to pass your days by daydreaming and expressing yourself through the arts. You are a truly unique individual. Unfortunately, you are quite lonely, and few people truly understand you.

Take The Johnny Depp Quiz!

FuS|oN Part II

THE THREE STOOGES CONTINUED...

FeEzABeLLe
i've just discovered that die nih bole tahan gatal..ehehe...don't get mad at me ok feeza, there were too many stories being fed...haha..Feeza bile datang mood gile die abis ar.. She'll start crapping like nobody's business...kang tetibe die gelak sorg2 pas2 muke jadi cam lobster panggang...
Feeza gets high demands from the other species of human called Pretty Boys...Its like the highway ok...Mane2 die jalan ke toleh ke belok ke lompat ke menonggeng ke ade aje bende baru...damn u..
Every single time pon she'll get to see the good ones...wait, correction..not only SEE but also GETS HOLD of em...argh....Feeza is the next head-shapeshifter...coz she always transform from neck up..
if not her earings, tetibe kang she has some new lip gloss or eyeliners or eyeshadows or the famous and paling frequently terjadi is the drastic haircuts...One semester u'll see her with the girlish long hair, then comes the japanese style then suddenly the short-hair then suddenly her hair becomes long again...I only knew her for like 3 years and she already have more than 5 goddamn hairstyles! gile nye feremfuan...
Feeza is like my twin, coz everywhere we go, org igt adek-beradek and we'll get this phrase everytime "ey, sape kakak? muke serupe la.." Kepale hotak korang! tgk dekat2, takde makne muke kitorg same...N plus our dresscode bile kuar melepak lebih kurang...She is like the makhluk yg paling bersopan n organized bile makan...She'll eat without a sound, mouth fully shut, and u can see her dish missing slowly portion by portion in a superb order...She'll always have a tissue in one hand in case tercomot, so die cepat2 wipe...Hah satu bende best gile! Feeza shares the same amount of love when it comes to "lepak"ing by the beach, eventhough when the sun is like 90 degrees above...
Lately Feeza loves OU so much that i often hear "En, aku dekat ngan ur place, nak gi OU nih, jom ar!" hehe all in all, she is my definition of the new-age contemporary lady...

kHa|r
khair jenis cam feeza...buat hal sendiri, buat keje sendiri memanjang..khair is a bit quiet when it comes to her personal life...She'll be telling feeza mostly about anything, but not me...agaknye i nih harsh sgt kot towards her..ye khair? i don't know la...khair nowadays slalu sangat "occupied" maklumlah org cinta sedang berputik....she is a lazy bum when it comes to studying, but rajin gile when it comes to getting involved in events, rugby and i think futsal too...
khair never fails to accessorize herself whenever she goes out...khair bile dtg bitch mode die abis ar, tolong jgn dekat...die nye attitude kalah spoilt brat, bahase die tiung tiung and she'll put up a super f***ed up face that no one dares to stare at! I have a strong feeling that khair will never grow taller nor expand any bigger...khair so far i can say is a quite happy-go-lucky kinda person coz you rarely see her in pms mode...
khair same cam feeza when it comes to attracting guys...die nih sebab die kecik chomei, laki mane la tak geram ngan die...and oh ya...don't be fooled by her innocent look, i must stress again ya...coz she is NOT what u think she is..wehehe..so far jarang la dgr khair ade pape masalah..probably bcoz she doesn't tell me often coz she has feeza to pour out to...i'll find out like yonks later la kan..jahat gile...khair is adventurous when it comes to food..even if the food looks gewwwy and disgusting, she'll still put up that cute disgusted face and places the food in her mouth..hehe..khair pon same cam me n feeza, kaki jalan...asal ade tempat bole gi je she'll go, tak kisah la last minute plan ke kamikaze ke...
khair banyak gile kisah2 menarik yg bole diceritakan kat kitorg coz she has been to many parts of the world...ye la, kate her dad works for the embassy, nak buat camne...luckily it happened like when she was still a kid, kalau tak mcm2 colour la ex boyfriend die..hehehhe kiddiinngg...
khair is unpredictable....sometimes she seems as if she has mellowed down, but pas2 amek kau, u'll be surprised of what she was up to...mulut die bertapis, tapi kalau dah bengang, oi tolong la tutup telinga bebudak kecik, malapetaka akibatnye kang...heheh all in all she's is my definition of cute and adorable...

Aiman
he is the most "keras kepale"-ed guy...taknak dgr ckp me n feeza n khair langsung.... ok not langsung la, but most of the time...nih mmg a true happy-go-lucky person..he doesn't give to shitz about what or how people think of him...he lives his life to the fullest...has no regrets of what he did as he has always been the positive thinker among us...
lately aiman starts talking like a "shrink"...he uses all those philosophical terms and languages as if he's writing a literature or giving a very formal speech....but somehow, his words gets to my attention everytime...
He projects himself as a good father (when he becomes one someday)...his love towards theatre is like the love of soulmates...he'll go all out for his stage performances and comes out with good plays...hey, his team didn't go to the nationals for nothing! I never knew this part of him before, but he is THE ULTIMATE DRAMAKING la for sure...hehe...Me and aiman loves to talk in a stupid British slang, lagi2 bile bab2 mengutuk org or each other..hahah somehow it sounds really "POLITE" kan aiman? wahahaa...
Aiman loves his food, very adventurous too...he is like our ultimate weapon when we visit a chinese place coz he could understand their SOS very well...ye la, kate alien camtuh ar die...hehe
when it comes to travelling, aiman is number one...he knows and been to so many places we never knew existed in this country ...I think if i didn't meet aiman back in 2002, i'll feel as if i'm the only alien alive on earth, so i thank god that he created another being just like me!
Year by year kitorg dok plan nak celebrate birthday sesame; me, aiman and khair... tapi disebabkan si cody berjantina lelaki nih tak abis2 ngan theatre die or balik kuantan, i think we'll celebrate it when we turn 40 k aiman...tuh pon if ur not "active" lagi la kan.. hehe
Aiman nih bole tahan gak sundalz die...mentang2 ar he knows how to play around with his words when it comes to approaching ladies, amboi amboi shakespeare pon kalah...But when it comes to giving advices, his words stabs u hard, not kidding....so tolong la jgn memain ngan aiman...
Even so, he is as sick in the head as the rest of us...sometimes sicker..hehehe... He knows exactly the cure for ur pain, mentally ke physically ke....he really knows howta make u feel good about urself and things evolved around u...He is a supportive and a caring muthafucka....
oh ya..if i'm not mistaken, aiman loves collar pins and fridge magnets...i still got a hardrock collar pin with me ok aiman, of which i bought LAST YEAR from MIAMI ok...sundal, tu la tak nak jumpe aku lagi..
One more thing i've just discovered about aiman is that he has a rather high vanity level.. Especially during that time when he got his hair long...mentang2 rambut lawa cam perempuan, lelebih plak nak show off! chit!heheh ok...all in all he is my definition of a classic-souled guy...
Posted on by d|aBoL|c e'En | 3 comments

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Adeeehh..adeehhh...adeehhh...

Sorry to say la kan...
Myspace, Friendster, Hi5, Ringo dan rakan2 sejawat mmg dok bagi masalah...
Especially in relationships...bukan i sorang ok, ramai gile start gado pasal bende bodo ni..

Yes, please do take note that I have permanently deleted my myspace, hi5, friendster blablabla for good...since tak abis2 ade hal timbul pasal these "programs" whatever la kan...
Pasal bende ni, bole gado, member start makan member..ihh bodo gile childish shitz...
Yeah i got into that at one point...mmg bodo ar, so baik kuar je terus...

So people, if ever u start bergado even SEKALI with anybody because it started initially with these "programs" i suggest baik cancel la account tuh...Don't jeapordize ur relationship with ur loved ones and friends for nothing..Manusia, biase la always have that jealousy...So don't feed it, coz it'll fill u up with hard-ass f***ed up shitz....Maklumlah, kalau tak sendiri jealous, ade je "kaki2 report" yg senantiase menjalankan their pathetic ass work, konon nak tunjuk "caring", pas2 kite pon 'TER'jealous membabi bute... OH PEGILAH MAMPOS.....

seriously...this is a f***ed up world we're living in...BLOODY ASS F***ED UP...

sHeMaLe??...

ok i've just read the news today...
there was this article about guys getting breast reduction surgeries...
Somewhere in the europe, there are about 150 men having this surgery because their "breast" had "fats"....hahah funny ain't it...

the article also says that there was a "mammary" gland found inside their breasts...
take note that this "gland" are the ones found ONLY in women, which actually enables them to produce breast milk...it says that these hormones were found excessively in tap water and fast food...Tap water coz it says there were a lot contraceptive pills dissolved in it, and fast food coz chicken nowadays were injected with hormones to make them bigger...

WAAHLLAAUUWWEEIIHH!! meaning now guys can have breasts milk and get pregnant! hahahaha! attention women, get ur men pregnant! weehoooo!!!
So, i think that's the most eye-catching news for today! hahahah

RoUgH eNdZ...

had a really rough week..
i was being really uptight with everyone, especially Mr significant other...
couldn't believe what i did, what happened....
Ya allah...i was beyond my ultimate nightmare...
Syukur alhamdulillah i still have my other half of me...but it's getting quite loose...

Sometimes to know everything kills u..and at the same time not to know everything f***s u up pretty badly...Things have not been of a favour to me this past week...Much often gone against me, made me feel like a rock being hit by a hard wave...

It hits me hard to think of the lovely days i had in year 2000...Everything was SO GREAT...
I was like the best student in my school in sub-arts stream (arts stream with add math that is)..
I had like one big clan of friends whom stick together in everything, everytime, everywhere...
I found the love of my life...of which still is holding onto me, and what we believe as true love and destined soulmates...

My dear dear Taymen and i had a talk yesterday...I couldn't believe at first that someone was really really concern about me and Mr significant other...Its so sweet to see someone who could actually cry with you, at least that's what i see in Taymen...

This is the things that strikes me...Why do good guys often get the bad girls and hard life, vice versa?...Things are always a favour to the "good looking ones", bastards and bitches...
Now where is the fairness in that?...hmmm....

Despite the shittiness the past week had been giving me..i also got fed with a whole log of things which made me laughed EVILLY...discovered a whole lump of truth about few people... Of which i've always regard as the good ones...They really really had me fooled with their angelic words of wisdom, not for a year or two, but literally my whole teenage life...How sucky is that?
It made me feel pathetic to see myself as a naive person all of a sudden...

Thank God Feeza came to the rescue last night...She was like 100 metres away from my house coz a "friend" of hers got into an accident...Went out for dinner and sent her back to Bukit Jalil... It was SOOOO NICCCEEE to see her...ya allah, lame gile sey tak jumpe...since i started working ok...Her haircut is similar to mine hahah....Gile adek-beradek sial kite...Seriously rindu gile si perempuan gile tuh..n khair n ESPECIALLY aiman sya'aban...tuh babi tonyok yg susah sgt nak turun kj, nak kene terajang baru turun agaknye...hehe...I miss MMU!!! argghh... As much as i hate to admit it, but i do miss that stupid MMU! rindu gile nak gi lecture halls, gi tutorials, lepak makan kat bus-stand n streetmall...argghhh...Working life ni mmg memeningkan kepale... Lagi2 ar kene jadi "designer" ya allah tuhan je tau camne susah nak carik creativity... Everyday i'll be staring at the scenery outside my window just to get some ideas...Adeeehhh.... Dah ar kat MMU dok blaja buat business online, alih2 keje jadi designer plak...Susah nak mampos sial....
Posted on by d|aBoL|c e'En | 5 comments