:: To Wife, or Not To Wife; Marriage and the Likes ::

i've attended Kursus Kahwin some years ago with dearly wedded Farah Nadziah and Sofie, my love Mohd Khairul Nizam, 19 years-friend Ana, an acquaintance who shall remain unnamed, and a friend A.J.

'twas said that many married couples got it wrong in leading their daily lives as husbands and wives of Islam. The men actually had the idea that household chores including cleaning and cooking, in addition to taking care of the children have always been, a women's job; also of course satisfying the NEEDS of the husbands. The men then carries the idea that, their main responsibility was strictly at providing Nafkah Zahir, which includes providing basic necessities like money to buy food, clothes for children and a place of shelter. Many men also quoted, "well, you gotta be able to put food on the table!"

Now hold your horses!

Repeat that sentence please.
PUT FOOD ON THE TABLE.

And this is what the Ustaz said. According to Hadith (can't remember by whom!), men were supposed to provide for the family. and what it means here is that, not just providing money or raw ingredients, but COOKED FOOD on the table. dude, you can't serve your family raw food right? unless it's ULAM or SUSHI! and no, don't expect your family to binge on those everyday! wait, even sushi's sticky rice needs to be cooked! there u go! *grin*
was also said that men are supposed to do the housework! Ustaz said that, the thing with men is, they always take things for granted. (OH THANK YOUUUU USTAZ!) Once the wife helps around with the house chores, they start to think that "hey, she's doing it also, why not skip next week?!" gradually, it becomes "woman, it's YOUR JOB". u really need some serious knock on the head dear men!

And then comes the quarrels. simply because men were not aware of their duties, as per ISLAM. really, please concentrate during your kursus kahwin will u? no wonder divorce cases are inclining like mad! ish! it was also highlighted that, IF, by request, the husband asks the wife to help around, then YES, u better do it woman, else ur asking for trouble! now that's a happy family right there!

on another note, many young, married couples have trouble when they have no other financial support, i.e. wealthy parents. i realized that so many of them nowadays tell stories of how GREAT and WONDERFUL their lives are as married couples, hence planting the idea on others' heads that it's an easy thing! well of course for them u numbskulls, THEY COME FROM WEALTHY FAMILIES! If it weren't for their parents and families, u really think they can have great weddings, nice houses (some even stay with their parents still!), good cars, travel everywhere around the world like every quarter of the year, and have kids, without even having a STABLE JOB? u gotta be kidding me right? some even have SPONSORED maids to help around! the best thing is, some of these married couples even threw sarcastic remarks such as

"ey, lamenye bercinta! duit tu bukan isu la nak kahwin, unless masing2 takut nak commit, kot? tak ke?"

in addition to that, ade yang kate, "eh ok aje i jage anak..memang la penat skit, but takde la susah mane". AMBOI SEHEDAPNYE MULOOOTTT....if your parents are willing to support us and our families, takde hal wei, aku ok ajeeee! ye tak? memang la, as it is, you are not even sweating your bum off to earn a living, senang la hidup! ish geram pon ade dengan orang yang tak considerate langsung dalam percakapan.

subhanallah, bukanlah nak mintak benda buruk, tapi tgk la, Tuhan tu Maha Berkuasa, sekali die tarik kesenangan korang, baru terkial2 nak mintak tolong orang sekeliling. pastu kang bergaduh, bercerai-berai laki bini, all because you had no idea how hard it is to raise a family and earning on your own! oh i wish u all the best. kalau dah senang, jangan tindih2 orang sekeliling and bagi false hope, sebab KAMI BUKAN ORANG SENANG MACAM KAMU. thanks.

Bismillah, mari kita orang BIASA berusaha mencari rezeki yang halal untuk keluarga, dan memohon diringankan beban.

Hasbiyallahu laa ilaahaillahuwa 'alaihi tawakkaltu wahuwa rabbul 'arsyil 'adzim.
Allah yang mencukupi segala keperluanku, tiada Tuhan yang berhak disembah kecuali Allah, kepadaNya aku bertawakal. Dialah Tuhan Arasy yang Agung.
Amin, yaa rabbal 'alamin.

p/s: saya bukanlah orang yang beriman sangat, tapi saye akan sentiasa cuba memperbaiki diri dan bercakap dengan lebih sopan. insya allah.