:: 107 Days ::

Bismillah.

Has been 5 months since i last penned. FIVE months. not funny. nope. that's how little time i had to even THINK about expressing myself through the one and only medium that has served me so well over the past 6 years.

Updates. hmm. as per title mentioned, insyaallah it'll be in 107 days that i am officially wedded to the love of my life, the only person i've given almost all my time, strength, focus, heart and soul to for almost 5 years to date. Alhamdulillah, preparations have been smooth-going as we've not only planned and got almost everything done months before the day comes, but also because papa has been so supportive to help us through and booked us the hall. THAT, was the initiation stage. yup, after almost 2 years of both Bob and I talking and discussing in the air over matters relating to the lifetime commitment, we are finally counting days and sweating blood and tears in hopes for it to be the wrapping up of my family's wedding ceremonies, insyaallah. Correct, I am, the last in the family to get hitched, but I am not fretting, alhamdulillah, i am very pleased.

Still going strong with my job, with friends, mended the crooked ties with everyone dear to me, and trying very much to be a better person. I know i have not made progress in changing, i have no idea why. I would so love to blame the stressful job, and the average pay, and the not-slim-enough physique...and the ugly hair. maybe i'm not thankful enough to Allah for giving me soooo much, in actual fact. maybe i am too envious of those rich kids who live a good life, eating healthy food, having their weekly manicure/pedicure, bi-weekly hair treatments at the salons, having fancy dinners every fortnightly, driving expensive cars, not having the slightest hardship of getting money to get married or even to have kids of their own...and the list goes on.

and here i am, portraying that nothing bothers me, when all i'm left is just a third of the salary i get for my daily living, which of course includes food, toiletries, fuel, toll charges and bills. no, i'm not lucky enough like some of you who got hitched to rich kids or already rich and established men/women, in which leads you to zero worry onto thinking of what'll happen if you got into an accident etc? savings are nearly impossible with all these debts. what more to have a comfortable life? I guess this is the test Allah has lined up for me. maybe THIS will help me become a different person, a whole lot better one. simply because, i, have not been totally grateful for the things that came in my way. and because i did not save the tens of thousands i could've had for my future undertakings.

I shall learn to save more. I shall learn to listen and take my darling Bob's advices seriously. I, shall become a better Muslim. I, shall become a happy person.

And i forgot how good it feels like to write. It does take my burden away. :) Thank you Allah, for making us humans such geniuses, and having the thought of devicing and inventing this internet, and hence blogspot. And thank you readers, my loyal readers for stopping by and check out what I have to say, and probably argue here and there, for your arguments have helped me grow and see things in different perspectives - that I, am not alone in this world. and that harmony exists with the blend of tolerance, anger, perspectives, beliefs, culture, religion, self-righteousness, confidence, esteem, knowledge, science and logic, and not to forget, experiences. harmony is so complex, yet achievable in every way possible. God is great.

Need to list down songs for the band to play for the dinner reception, bi-lingual, yes, both Malay and English as my bridesmaids are Aussies, oh, and a Kiwi, and a Swedish. cool aye? :)

Now, which lucky songs will be in my list?. Head-throbbing session begins.

.107 days-counting begins.