:....(

Ever since you left me
I've been trying to hide the pain
Painting on a smile with lipstick
Putting on a big charade
So difficult to keep pretending
It's getting harder everyday
It's plain to see I'm cold and heartsick
Since you turned and walked away
I just keep going round and round
And round in circles
Keep on tumbling down

Oh boy my world has changed
And I don't think I can make it without you
Nothing's the same
You got me running around in circles over you
(running around in circles over you)

Saturday I saw you
Holding hands with someone new
Somehow I kept my composure
Just like everything was cool
But inside I kept repeating
Don't you let them see you cry
So I casually turned my head
As the tears rolled down my eyes
I just keep going round and round
And round in circles
Keep on tumbling down

Everything is you
How can I pull through
My heart is consumed I'm so confused
Still caught up in you...love can be so cruel
Baby don't know how to turn you loose

:: Circles by Mariah Carey ::

Let's See Who's Go|n dOwN n WhO'S nOt...HAH!

well...well...well....
turns out God loves me after all! haha....
U fucked me up BIG TIME, now it's ur turn to pay....
oh how i love the sound of KARMA....
Manipulate, lie to both of us all u want, u just don't know what's coming after u....
We'll see how ur gonna end up twisting stories and manipulating urself...AHAH AHAH AHAH!

Oh let me enjoy this moment of glory....ALHAMDULILLAH...
Thank u God for snapping my head just in time....

YOU ARE SO FUCKED....and the best part is, U'LL BE FUCKED BY US....woohoo!!

TeArS fRoM mY HeArT....

It came over me in a rush
When I realized that I love you so much
That sometimes I cry, but I cant tell you why
why I feel what I feel inside

How I try to express what's been jugglin' my mind
But still can't find the words
But I know that something's got a hold of me

Baby, some day I'll find a way to say
just what you mean to me
But if that day never comes along
and you don't hear this song
I guess you'll never know that...

And when I say inside, I mean deep
You fill my soul with something I cannot explain
What's over me

thank u...everyone...

Baru ku sedari....
cintaku bertepuk sebelah tangan....

and so the song goes....felt so devastated...heard n sang along to it @ RP....

thank u to all of u....for being so patient on making me realize what i've been missing, how i took my life for granted, and how i wasted my love for somebody who doesn't feel the same way, when i could actually save it for someone else who appreciates it...sacrificed my life for nothing....
thank u..thank u...thank u....for ur endless love n support...

:: Alia, Emmy Safina, Farah Nadz, Farah Najwa, Khair, Feeza, Aiman, Balee, Syazana, Azura, Imran, Kak Ina, Syakira, Aref, Bob, Nizar, Abg Aidi, Abg Wadi, Yan, Pak Din, and my lovely family ::

I really appreciate ur kindness and friendship...luv u guys very very much...

|t |s t|mE....

Monday...

Received an sms from my dear friend...told me that his gf left him...why? let me tell u why..

SHE : busy with events...work, work, work....calls and sms from him, BARELY answered... goes out with him for breakfast/lunch/dinner like at MOST twice a week...

HE : calls her like twice a WEEK to just say hi...sends her to work everytime she's posted here...

Suddenly....
SHE : didn't pick up his call, didn't answer his sms on a weekend...truth fact, she went out clubbing with friends n one of them happened to be his friend...didn't even tell him about it(not that it was a big fuss, but hell, at least sms him back n tell him la kan, susah sgt ke?)...n fact was they haven't seen each other for more than a week...

HE : found out she went out clubbing...sms-ed her n told her he knew about it...then received endless panic responses from her....

THEN...
SHE : called him up, tak puas ati...bcoz kene tegur by him...said goodbye, slams down the phone while he was talking, n turned off her phone right away...

HE : called her back constantly, failure...sms-ed Een for advice n comfort...

EEN : told him to just leave it..sebab she was too freakin childish...biase la, budak baru keje, dpt banyak duit, lupe dunia...she couldn't even bother to sms back saying maybe she's busy or just to say hi after office hours...couldn't even pick up his phone calls at nite, for god sake...CEO pon tak busy camtu la...

Rite after that, the most dreadful moment happened..i was strucked so badly from what i saw.. i was too broken to even cry a tear...got back to dad's n everything just flashed in front of my eyes...what the HELL am i doing?!! I'm giving advices to a friend of similar situation, n here i am, NOT doing anything of my own pathetic situation..REALITY just checked-in...and i knew at that moment, I HAD to do it....i had to take up all the risks to hurt, to lose and to just let go...if things were meant 2 be, then it'll happen again...but at this point, n i believe in even years to come, the subject in concern is n will be annoyed, angry at me....probably he'll just puke whenever we see each other...i'm sorry for what happened...put urself in my shoes n tell me that ur not living a pathetic life...can u?...no one can..coz that's just REALITY...n the old Liyana would be DENYING reality...so, no more old Liyana...

The new Liyana is emerging...and she's taking one step further everytime...n she's LEAVING...
From heart to head...i'm finally THINKING straight...for everyone's sake...it hurts me like FUCK i swear....cried so many tears...n did he?...i dun think so..coz he's too busy with his life n his precious one...oh well, at least he has a life...and so will i....u just don't know what u got til it's gone..and mine has gone for a year in actual fact..i felt it, but he didn't....n i'm not gonna play his game anymore...i'm breaking down...AGAIN...how pathetic...

So this is it...this is GOODBYE....

I LuV LuV LuuuuuV my L|fE!!!!

first n foremost... thank u Syakira Mazrah...4 dragging me along to meet up with the tmn tun peepz...ya allah best gile...made a dozen more friends...totally changed my world k...these guys r so freakin friendly...baru knal dah tiu masing2....God knows how happy these people made me!
And u know what else la kan Syak...ahahahaha....

:: Alia just got back from UK...smuorg angau Alia hahahaha....damn u woman, jgn pegi lame2 lagi k! Now am gonna bug ur life to the fullest! ::
:: Emmy is forever busy with her endless events at LUCT...and her neverending social nites...haha My dear Emmy....SLOW DOWN woman! hahaha kang terbalik susah babe! ::
:: Farah Najwa, started class last week...so, goodbye lepaking with Farah...dammit... ::
:: Farah Nadz, forever has free time 4 me...entertaining me with her infectuous laughter hahaha... thanx for the swimming session, oh wait, make that sessionS as there r more to come! hehe Sofie, jgn kacau! i nak tenet ngan Farah plak, dah la u dok culik her 4 breakfast, mane aci!::
:: Syak's flying off this Sunday...Es tonto! why on earth do u have 2 go back to Perth too early! Xpe, she's off for a good reason, pursuing her Masters in politics..GO SYAK! am proud of u! ::
:: Aref's going back to Canberra on Sunday as well....man...TOO SOON i swear! too little time spent with him...sedey...Aref, nanti i'll give u more surprise phone calls k! :) 6 more months to go Boe, U CAN DO IT!! ::
:: Feeza is busy with her internship...miss u like hell....bile nak bagi her HRC stuff pon i tatau, ntah bile masing2 free....uwaaa :( ::
:: Khair is busy with classes and assignments...sorry khair i lame tak turun Cyber...nanti we'll meet up 4 lunch or sumthin k... ::
:: Zana, recently hooked up with this UIA guy...she's super happy n in love...am VERY happy 4 u lil sis...told ya one day "HE" will come....hehe ::
:: Alif tak reti2 nak balik from Ohio, working his ass off kat sane...ey, org smue nak convo la babe, and ur missing! Donkey!! Make sure u buzz us once u arrive, else we'll hunt u down u mofo! :p ::
:: Aimi is also busy with internship..well...it has been so long since we last lepak kan aimi... aimi bile dtg mood gile die mule la, ckp ngarut online...hahah it's so hard to catch her attention ahaha::

Been spending quite a lotta time with Bob n Mie over the past few days...melayan kerenah bodo diorg...endless...endless...hahaha...It's so good to have witty friends....Bob, jage sikit ur hair, i tarik kang tak jadi Ronaldinho dah! hahaha..Mie dah join the other side, his friends smue yg suke buat org tterperanjat tgh2 malam! ahahahhaha

As stated in my previous entry....u lose one, God replaces u with 10....and the figure is closing in... ahahahaha...i just lost one...and here comes few more! And currently am pretty happy with those who came along the line...i likey! hahahahaha...it's BAD to put up names and descriptions here as it may cause discretions and offences...so....BEEP...probably these people already knew what i have in mind! which appears to be relatively embarassing....eheh... :p

GOD IT'S GREAT BEING THIS WAY!! WOOOOHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOO!!!