:: To Wife, or Not To Wife; Marriage and the Likes ::

i've attended Kursus Kahwin some years ago with dearly wedded Farah Nadziah and Sofie, my love Mohd Khairul Nizam, 19 years-friend Ana, an acquaintance who shall remain unnamed, and a friend A.J.

'twas said that many married couples got it wrong in leading their daily lives as husbands and wives of Islam. The men actually had the idea that household chores including cleaning and cooking, in addition to taking care of the children have always been, a women's job; also of course satisfying the NEEDS of the husbands. The men then carries the idea that, their main responsibility was strictly at providing Nafkah Zahir, which includes providing basic necessities like money to buy food, clothes for children and a place of shelter. Many men also quoted, "well, you gotta be able to put food on the table!"

Now hold your horses!

Repeat that sentence please.
PUT FOOD ON THE TABLE.

And this is what the Ustaz said. According to Hadith (can't remember by whom!), men were supposed to provide for the family. and what it means here is that, not just providing money or raw ingredients, but COOKED FOOD on the table. dude, you can't serve your family raw food right? unless it's ULAM or SUSHI! and no, don't expect your family to binge on those everyday! wait, even sushi's sticky rice needs to be cooked! there u go! *grin*
was also said that men are supposed to do the housework! Ustaz said that, the thing with men is, they always take things for granted. (OH THANK YOUUUU USTAZ!) Once the wife helps around with the house chores, they start to think that "hey, she's doing it also, why not skip next week?!" gradually, it becomes "woman, it's YOUR JOB". u really need some serious knock on the head dear men!

And then comes the quarrels. simply because men were not aware of their duties, as per ISLAM. really, please concentrate during your kursus kahwin will u? no wonder divorce cases are inclining like mad! ish! it was also highlighted that, IF, by request, the husband asks the wife to help around, then YES, u better do it woman, else ur asking for trouble! now that's a happy family right there!

on another note, many young, married couples have trouble when they have no other financial support, i.e. wealthy parents. i realized that so many of them nowadays tell stories of how GREAT and WONDERFUL their lives are as married couples, hence planting the idea on others' heads that it's an easy thing! well of course for them u numbskulls, THEY COME FROM WEALTHY FAMILIES! If it weren't for their parents and families, u really think they can have great weddings, nice houses (some even stay with their parents still!), good cars, travel everywhere around the world like every quarter of the year, and have kids, without even having a STABLE JOB? u gotta be kidding me right? some even have SPONSORED maids to help around! the best thing is, some of these married couples even threw sarcastic remarks such as

"ey, lamenye bercinta! duit tu bukan isu la nak kahwin, unless masing2 takut nak commit, kot? tak ke?"

in addition to that, ade yang kate, "eh ok aje i jage anak..memang la penat skit, but takde la susah mane". AMBOI SEHEDAPNYE MULOOOTTT....if your parents are willing to support us and our families, takde hal wei, aku ok ajeeee! ye tak? memang la, as it is, you are not even sweating your bum off to earn a living, senang la hidup! ish geram pon ade dengan orang yang tak considerate langsung dalam percakapan.

subhanallah, bukanlah nak mintak benda buruk, tapi tgk la, Tuhan tu Maha Berkuasa, sekali die tarik kesenangan korang, baru terkial2 nak mintak tolong orang sekeliling. pastu kang bergaduh, bercerai-berai laki bini, all because you had no idea how hard it is to raise a family and earning on your own! oh i wish u all the best. kalau dah senang, jangan tindih2 orang sekeliling and bagi false hope, sebab KAMI BUKAN ORANG SENANG MACAM KAMU. thanks.

Bismillah, mari kita orang BIASA berusaha mencari rezeki yang halal untuk keluarga, dan memohon diringankan beban.

Hasbiyallahu laa ilaahaillahuwa 'alaihi tawakkaltu wahuwa rabbul 'arsyil 'adzim.
Allah yang mencukupi segala keperluanku, tiada Tuhan yang berhak disembah kecuali Allah, kepadaNya aku bertawakal. Dialah Tuhan Arasy yang Agung.
Amin, yaa rabbal 'alamin.

p/s: saya bukanlah orang yang beriman sangat, tapi saye akan sentiasa cuba memperbaiki diri dan bercakap dengan lebih sopan. insya allah.

:: :'(( ::

Jangan lagi kau sesali keputusanku
Ku tak ingin kau semakin kan terluka
Tak inginku paksakan cinta ini...
Meski tiada sanggup untuk kau terima

Aku memang manusia paling berdosa
Khianati rasa demi keinginan semu
Lebih baik jangan mencintai aku dan semua hatiku
Karena takkan pernah kan kau temui cinta sejati...

Berakhirlah sudah semua kisah ini dan jangan kau tangisi lagi
Sekalipun aku takkan pernah mencoba kembali padamu
Sejuta kata maaf terasa kan percuma... aaa...
Serasa ku t'lah mati untuk menyadarinya...

Tapi bukan aku...

Semoga saja kan kau dapati hati yang tulus mencintaimu
Tapi bukan aku...

:: And it continues ::

Life, in this world we're living in, can be quite a scum.
But it's ok, we'll deal with it to our level best.

Smile, because our lives have yet to begin.
you know what i mean :)

:: Tweaks in my Rainbow ::

i believe i've put too much pressure on myself and Bob.

TOO MUCH. luckily he has so far constantly kept his cool and did an awesome job on keeping mine too.

Mohd Khairul Nizam, u are blardy awesome. thank you for being my everything.

Tonight I shall go to the gym for aerobics class with Sue Khalid. kudos to sue whom has lost about 15 kilos over 60 days. yes people, 15 kilos!!! i shall lose my 5 within 30. discipline discipline discipline!

And tomorrow, I shall pay a visit to dear Farah, Sofie and Baby Sayf Irfan with Farrah Najwa, sisters Suhada and Suhana Fauzi, and Emmy Safina (hope u can skip ur class maybe? :P)

ok back to work!

p/s: i have no idea on what to write. but i shall write pretty soon as juicy gossips and hurtful events will be shared soon! huuubbaaa huubbbaaa!

:: E'en's Life, Take 3773! ::

sigh i've been neglecting my blog for quite sometime. but have not been neglecting the reading of others' blogs ok :)

hmm.....

i've been hearing people giving advices to one another, on how important it is not to put personal and professional matters on the same plate, yet the same people have been "breaching" such principles.

is it really so hard to not mix those two? well to me it isn't, well, so far, hasn't been a problem. to tell u the truth, i've been trained to do so at as early as 12 years old. believe me, i have always been, THAT professional. and yes, my father did an awesome job at having me making my own decisions and critical thinking before i even reached puberty. man i have tons to learn from this man! simple example, i was super active in sports. was even up to state level and managed to score straight As for my PMR. yup, that's how great my father trained me onto being disciplined and focused. but one thing for sure is that, my father had always given us options: would u like to be someone with extensive knowledge, or would u like to be a pro in your area of sports?

somehow along the way, i'd put education as top priority. don't ask me why, but yes, somehow or rather i knew in my heart that a good solid layer of knowledge is essential. of course as a teenager, i could never really figure out why, but i still pursued it religiously. and the determination has not deteriorated to this present day, alhamdulillah. yes, i do hope to have my PhD soon, but money has always been a challenge. I even spoke to dear Bob on getting my second Master's, this time in Education, specifically in Special Education. i somehow grew interests in this line eversince i attended the Montessori course for Special Needs few months ago, as part of my job enhancement. and i am now super fond of children, regardless how the society categorized them as, for they are nowhere different from us all...Bob even had the hunch that I will someday have my own montessori or pre-school centre :) u are indefinitely a sweetheart Bob, i swear :))

as for now, I am happy on where I am. I'm learning a lot from this job, and looking forward to the coming years - although this is pretty challenging! but syukur alhamdulillah, Allah has given me so much, and i am truly blessed. amin!

great news came in last night, Farah Nadziah had given birth to a healthy baby boy (when i say healthy, i mean 3.6kg healthy okaaayyy!) at 8.02pm! *sofie, thank u for the precise time of birth!* hehehehehhe.....Farah's the first mummy of the clan y'all! woohooo! and suprisingly, the rest of us are still SINGLE! (as in not married ok, but dating. ehem.) LOL! insyaallah our turns will be soon, doakan kami! :) alhamdulillah both mom and baby are kicking butts! way to go Farah! we shall visit u guys soon okaaaayyy! yup, EDD was accurate! baby did launch on 15th March! hehehehhe..oh i still hadn't got a clue what the baby's name is! Farah, sila share dengan kami ye! 15.03.10 is a date to be calendered from this day forth *wink* we love u mama farah and papa sofie! (eh, mama dan papa ke masalahnye? ye, aku suka hati please. :P)

oh as for me, my body is ballloooonninnngggg like nobody's business! one day i'm ok, one day i'm bloated, and one fine day i'm all saggy. yekh. trying to get into an exercise routine now, hoping to stay in shape and strong til 2012! gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh! wish me luck people please, i sooooo need it!

p/s: FIZA FIZO, i miss u. :( please call me or text me soon.

:: The Great Mirror ::

i have not learnt from my mistakes.
i dont know when will i ever.
i dont know why would i ever.

truth is i never think or perceive bad about anyone.
according to mr significant other and a few close friends, i TRUST people too much. which led me to thinking that no one's that big of a harm.

until of course it harmed me in every way possible.

i always OVERestimate someone's kindness. to me, they're just plain kind, no tricks, nada.
and i always think that people were dead honest to me, simply because everyone around seemed to be more of everything positive as compared to me.

until i was used in every term possible.

i know this, i do. but i keep on making the same mistakes again. solely because to me everyone is different, and everyone should be given a chance (maybe two...or three!) to bring out the most of their personality before any judgements were passed.

and i hope that one day, i will HAPPILY get rid of these nonsense!

again, goodnight and sleep tight.

:: Of Pimples and Scars ::

kadangkala saye rase saye ni syok sendiri, kadangkala rase saya ni terlebih menyampah kat diri sendiri, kadangkala saya rasa macam semua benda tak elok yang jadi kat diri saye sebab saya mungkin dah banyak menyinggung perasaan orang throughout my life. but having said that, kadangkala terpikir jugak ape la jahat saya pernah buat kat orang, sebab setahu saya, saye tak pernah pon sibuk nak hancurkan hidup orang lain....melainkan orang tu buat taik kat saya of course. heh...

tapi has been few years since i ever gave a hoot about anyone other than my close friends. PON ade orang sibuk nak STIRRRR my happiness. eh pelik. oh papelah...

kadangkala tu duduk umah sendiri pon tak comfortable. sebab macam kene observe dalam pusat pemulihan. pakai jeans colour ni salah, pakai subang jenis tu salah, pakai converse shoes pon salah! ntah hape hape. bile la pulak masa bole dok umah and wear whatever i want, sit however i want, and have whatever ice cream i want?! yiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiihhhh!

muka saya tak pernah berjerawat sebegini rupa, skang dah naik geli. smue sebab bukan sahaja penat bekerja, kat umah pon macam2 hal. apahal la susah sangat. DUDUK DALAM BILIK BACE BUKU DIAM2 PON JADI MASALAH! apahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall! kang aku merayap, kene bising, tak pasal kene tuduh aku liar la ape la.

NOTHING SEEMED RIGHT, AND I'M GETTING SUPER ANNOYED.

on a different note.

my little sister is getting married this may 29th. time does fly, and i sometimes see myself as the pathetic one. don't know why, but however great i am at beating my siblings in terms of achievements, i still seem to be the black sheep. haih penat la hidup macam ni, seriously.

mungkin pasal sekarang dah kurang melafaz ayat2 suci al-quran, bukan seperti dulu, hari2... asyik outstation sampai lupa tanggungjawab kat tuhan. padan muka aku. thanks.

i'm off to yet again another seminar in johore. i shall start reciting the quran again for nothing brings more good luck to me than doing just that.

selamat malam, selamat menonton match MU esok. saye akan teriak sekuat hati bersama encik bob tersayang.

sekian.

:: twittwitmebum ::

ok ok so i've been missing for quite a while. aiiihhhhh been busy busy busy.

work-wise, been forever on outstation duties.
love life-wise, been having short getaways with my dearest *wink
social-wise, been hooking up with aref, zana, farrah for meals and teas, and the usj clan for daytrips

other than that, been busy helping out with Bob's sister's significant days. this is what happened.

It was the day Bob and I arrived at his house from Bukit Tinggi. Quraisyah (Bob's second sister) came back with such anxiousness in her face, with tiptop level of determinations on cleaning the house. and i was left pondered. so i asked, and the reply was "oh my god, Wati didn't tell u?".

"What? what on earth am i possibly missing?!" (with absolute confidence that i was NEVER out of the loop of course).

"Heelloooo, Boy's family is sooooo coming tonight, nak merisik Wati la!"

with bulged out eyes, and voice box waiting to explode, "holy craaaaaaaaaappp! why didn't u tell me earlier?! look at how i'm dressed, u gotta be kidding me!"

note: i wasn't wearing anything flashy nor inviting. i was wearing a long-sleeved stripey body-hug and jeans.

"Hello, bukan u yang nak dirisik, buat pe nak cantik2?!"

"Eh hello balik, takkan i nak dilihat sebegini! at least i pakai la baju kurung gak ke ape kan, dah kate i akan dilihat di dapur dan tolong serve makanan!"

"Oh ya eh. ehehhehe...tak terpikir pulak. hehe!"

"Thanks. let me panic now."

and a pair of eyes stared at me for quiet sometime, then came movements from that set of lips.
"Sayang, u tak bawak baju spare eh?...pinjam baju diorg ke?"

"Bie, kita dari mane tadi? dari umah i ke dari bercuti? heh? speaking of pinjam, lebar-wise, yes i can fit into their clothes, but PANJANG-wise, hoi, are u blind? i'm like a freakin midget walking in this house!"

"Oh ya...lupe plak u pendek."

Then a huge laughter from the crowd.

"ha ha very funny ah boy. u wait."

then came a familiar figure.

"E'eeeeeeeeeeennnnn! Boy nak dtg merisik malam ni! tolong i pleeasseee?!!"

"Yes, and so i've heard. ha bagus bagi tau aku lambat2, dan aku berpakaian camni! cheeehh! fine, what r u guys serving? let me help"

And the rest was history. Adam (Bob's photocopy, but in a more youthful and darker version :P) was labelling the dish as "hotel-like presentation", very "semangat" gitu. ok, i'll take that as a compliment eh? :) Ceremony was quick, with Boy's side giving the ring in under 20mins upon arrival, followed by sounds of light clicks and bangs and screeches and knocks of cutlery and plates.

Everyone was happy. As for I, I was having a great time getting to know Bob's elder brother (from the first marriage) Abang Boy, and his girlfriend Dora (dora datang laagiii! hahahha), accompanied by tons of laughter in the kitchen, where we shared guilt-free moments of gobbling down fried rice-noodles, fried chickens, and two local kuihs.

note: Bob wasn't there the whole night, he was out watching Selangor vs KL Plus with friends. yes, has been a habit that his "representative" is seen at occasions like these. again, very funny ah u boy? u waaaaiiittttt!

But i'm not complaining...i had a great time :)

on a subsequent note, now that the Majlis Merisik is over, here comes the Engagement Day!
February 7th, 2010. Take note.

And we've been busy shopping and setting up the dowries, i.e. hantaran. and yes, i'm doing most of the decorations. :)

I FEEL HONOURED! :))

:: December December, yonkey doinks! ::

Waazaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaappp....



Haih, where do I start..lemme see...Work is work, boring subject, don't wanna get too detailed in this, this time (watch me.) Been busy engaging myself with obligatory courses for the past 2 weeks, and as I get home from work, all I looked forward to was either my darling Bob, or coffee with friends, or the rectangular-huge-ass-hard "pillow" - THE BED. I've also purchased these two humongous books related to the service, and have only gone to page 117. and that's after quick flips and filters. yes yes i did extract the important ones ok. i'm still LEARNING the techniques of scheming through and focusing on the related info. well, not that anybody gives a hoot!




Ok moving along. Boyfriend has been on both upside and downside. What do u expect, we're both 25, still trying to get a stable income, and have been a couple for a little over 3 years. of course we choke on each other's neck sometimes! bwahahahahah. but the relationship is good. it's fun. and constructive. and good. and good. did i say great? yeap, great. yes yes u may be asking, WHEN. ok, give us maybe 2-3 years? we're getting there, we're getting there. stop pressuring pretty please? thanks.




I'm in a month's-salary-debt. yeap, 2 months of work without salary is no fun. thankfully they've wired my claims for November. sigh. And 4 days at the parliament is soooo not funny. thank god khair was on my side! and i bet feeza too..well u'd better be feezabelle! :)




Thousand apologies to everyone who had kindly invited me over for all sorts of celebrations. as u guys can see, my calendar forbids, and i'm left with frustrations too. :( Happy Birthday Kak Ija, Happy Birthday my little baby michelin Harith, Selamat Pengantin Baru Junainah, Congratulations Syed Munauwar, Congratulations little sister Nadia on ur engagement, Congratulations on the newborn son Iryana, and so many more...i'm sorry if i left anyone out, but this is really unintentionally yah?




I suddenly had the urge to visit Farah Nadz's old blog, since she mentioned about switching back to blogspot, and came across to the entry which brought sooooo many beautiful memories... it had all our pictures...all of us....when Farah was still "single", and Hydir too...and siblings Emmy and Hydir being a sport on tagging along with us "couples". And there was my birthday celebration, back when we were 23 *tears*, and the dinner session at the-person-who-shall-remain-unnamed's house, and the time when Farah got excited over her new Sony Ericsson (of which was a present from Sofie if i'm not mistaken!). and that got us jealous! hahahah...




Sigh...look at what a month could do to your life. and the people around u. and the relationships u've been holding on to. and the hopes and dreams that u've kept alive within u. and most importantly the faith that u held ever so tightly within your grasps...If only we had someone who leads, or maybe have led the same life we do. at least we could have someone to share with. the burdens, the heartaches, the joy, the sorrow, the gloom, the hype, the adrenalin. and maybe the experience. and ways of making life better each day without having to falter, or succumb to inauspicious fate.

CRAP is the word of the day. all together now:

.HOLY-MOTHER-of-CRAP.

:: December Reminder ::

Beep!

Wait for iiiiitttt.....wait for iiitttt......

Give me a few days, and i'll be back in a jiffy!

:: When Cream Turns Sour ::

and i thought i've got rid of IDIOTIC, IMMATURE "friends".

oh my god, GROW UP! no one harrased u in ANY way, and yet u SYOK SENDIRI, then started b****ing about everyone, as if they talked bad about u, when in fact they wanted NOTHING to do with u.

OH MY FREAKING GOD, GET A LIFE!

and i've known u like what, ALL MY LIFE? geez stop telling people to grow up, when u urself needed some teachings in ADOLESCENCE!



@%$@(*^$!_%(&~*^%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:: The G Word ::

things happen when we least expect.
things falter when we least expect.
people cherish us, when we least expect.
people BUG us, when we never had a tiny speck of expectation.

could this be a result of absolute ignorance? unfortunately for me, ignorance has never been a bliss. i could never ignore agendas, nor things, nor persons, and especially not heart-thumping words. i for one, has always been a light-sleeper. according to doctors and psychiatrists (not that i have been to one, mind u), light-sleepers are of those whom are constantly bothered by their surroundings. in other words, overly-conscious of whatever's happening around them, whatever's perceptions were being thrown at them, and whatever's happening behind that pair of visual aids. this is added up with a constant brain activity, of which occurs when one had too much to worry, and not letting the sounds of the calming night hibernate the tired soul. could this also be a sign of aging? neh, not that i know of. been a light-sleeper eversince i could remember!

enough about that. told u i can't ignore things. stories circling around my network hasn't been too great. no no nothing to do with my life, nor my significant other's, but merely on dear friends. i'm worried, i always am. it's so hard being nice, moreover being friendly and warm towards people. i'm complaining because it may very well lead me to decisions i could not comprehend, nor make peace with.i would love to love me, for who i am. don't u? so please, can i please please please have MY breather, and cope with this average life i'm living?. thanks.

sacrifice all u want. after all, we only live once, yeah? love all u want. care, all u want.
say it once, say it twice, say it out loud for all i care. i only live one life, and that's one chance in this earth-galaxy game.

i know this entry serves no meaning to you. but try to have a little "care", and "walk" my life. i seek no hatred, i seek no revenge, i seek no mercy, i seek no truth.

ALL I SEEK FOR IS HUMANITY, AND THAT, AT IT'S BEST.

in the end, we were all meant to say goodbye; just like what the lady on the radio said in such rhythmic tones.

*a toast to the CCD TV3 team; may the good times remain within our hearts. that was quite a team aye? :) chin up, god has better plans for us. *

:: tingaling aaa ling ::

ok fiqa, u got your post, but i aint promising anything exciting okaaayy :)

alhamdulillah, i got THE job. yeap, am going for the government, for the creme de la creme of civil service, a.k.a. the administrative and diplomatic officer, better known with the grade of M41. Thank you, everyone for helping me, especially Papa whom i've bugged til 1 in the morning with questions i dont even know of the level of relevancy.

I'll be pushing off for my 5-day induction week in Kluang, Johor, this Saturday. Yeap it starts as early as 8.30am on Sunday and Subang Jaya will probably see my presence only on Thursday night, or Friday evening. If I was too tired, I might just drive by Subuh for duty on Friday, to wherever i'm posted to. hoping for Putrajaya of course :)

Ok what else is there...hmmm....Going broke as I've spent ALL my money these past 2 weeks with friends, and mostly with the significant other Bob. Funny this time, we look forward to seeing each other ever so often, eversince Alia Shafiza invited me to her open house on the 1st week of Aidilfitri. aaaaaa has been that long aye? Alhamdulillah...

I've also planted this habit of performing my Isha' and end my nights with Yasin, which has brought profound changes and meaningful agendas in my life....leading me to endlessly thanking Allah for everything that has happened, and not taking things super negatively everytime...I now seek for the "hidden messages" that Allah has been sending underneath those mishaps, subsequently having me to surrender and succumb to His decisions, willingly.

Friends have been great. My little sister got engaged recently, alhamdulillah...dont know when will her Big Day will be...Aimi's getting hitched this December 25th, and who are those monkeys all excited for that??? Yes, none other than us; Liyana, Fiza and Khair :) Yup, both Fiza and I went "kain" hunting few weeks ago for Aimi's wedding, and ended up buying lots more than we planned for :) Well, we both had GOOD reasons for it. Mine was "I need lots more baju kurung for the service ok!", and Fiza's was "One's for me momma, one's for me sista, and....".... hehehe.... Eventhough we were kinda in a rush, the time spent was SPLENDID. As for our not-so-little Khair, well she's in this love game of which is just waiting to come to climax. We're patiently waiting of course :) Aiman is starting to miss us... YESSSSS!!!!! hahahahhaha we will surely hang out soon ok aiman!

I'm happy with my life. and I sure will make it happy for the rest of my years as fated by Him :)

:: Let's Stay Together ::

i wanted to wait for the weekend to end before i post my next entry. really because i had nothing much to share, hence bundling up events would be the most appropriate :)

Tuesday saw me havinga massive gossip session with dearest Fiqa, although we had our break-fast quite late due to "fully-reserved" restaurants. So there I was, munching on Shihlin's spicy XXL crispy chicken (which WAS super XXL). I couldn't eat much, literally had only a fifth of it, while Fiqa managed to gobble down her spicy fried seafood tempura... (i got that right, right Fiqa?) hehehehe....so yeah, we had our dinner later at Johnny's and it was a GOOD one! we should do this more often u know Fiqa, since Shikin and Shahrin are such arses, saying "steamboat isn't fulfilling"! they surely don't know how to appreciate food kan kan! hehehe...

Wednesday say me gathering up with the BUS STAND CLAN! weehooo! the annual e-commerce buka-puasa session was held at Marche, but this time missing Po (had to stay back for work!) and Zaza (alhamdulillah, was doing her umrah)...So yeah, there was just myself, Farah, Ana, Aiza, Alif and Raimi...also accompanying us were Aiza's hubby and his client :) It was quite an overwhelming one, with so much foooood! I pity Farah who couldn't stand the sight of blocks and chunks of food as she is expecting *wink*. Six more months and Farah+Sofie junior will scream HELLLOOOOOO worlldd! hehehe...Thanks a bunch to Raimi who paid my share, as I am broke AS HELL :) thank you thank you thank you Raimi!

Miss Liyana then went to Menara MPPJ for a family gathering on Saturday. This time, super pity me, because not only my PMS was so bad, I ate just the mee rebus and dessert! Bob really believes that this is due to me being "overly-conscious" of my weight. Well, not that I'm gonna deny that fact though, but no, it isnt because of that sayang, really...It's just the fasting month i guess...oh well, goodie goodie because i'm like 500 grams to 48kg! weehooo!

Sunday Sunday Sunday! The day i've waited for! Not only was I soooo happy that beloved boyfie Bob volunteers to accompany me for grocery shopping (which brings nothing back to him), my 3 beloved girlfriends came by for a massive masak-masak and buka puasa!!! *sorry, no pictures yet, will update soon*. And so, it started with me on my attempt to work on the fishes from SCRATCH. yes people, i had to scrape the fins (they were all over the kitchen, mind u) and chuck out the guts. I managed to fillet one of the fishes only, as i ran out of time! (crucial time management this one!)...then came my the two angels; Fiza and Khair, Khair's famous brownies, AND Fiza's infamous camera! hahahahhah! So yeah we got started until we realized that there were significant absentees - the chilli, the kailan, and THE daun limau-. Thank God for Fiza and Khair who were kind enough to get them at the nearby grocer while I fry my fish, neverendingly :P .....3/4 of the way, Aimi came with supper-yummy-licious strawberries and cream, and my Hari Raya cookies! yipppee!!! So yeah, not only we played award-winning-housewives, we too played mrs. darcy's-tea-and-dessert session! (we even had a change of tops!) hahahahha i just HAD to get that out! It was just awesome! It literally was the most care-free day i've had after soooooo many years....it somehow reminded of the MMU years we had together, where nothing else could make our day but the simple space for teh o ais and goreng pisang, the mopped tiles, the funky sling-bags, and US.

*background music: Lemar's Let's Stay Together, Robin Thicke's Ask Myself, KRU's Apa Saja, Texas's Say What U Want*

I wouldn't wanna trade anything for these moments. OUR moments.
I miss you guys already; Fiza, Khair, and Aimi...and Aiman, where art thou? missing you too, always :)

:: Taik Kerbau, part 2 ::

Rase mcm nak penerajang diri sendiri.

Takpe, time to turn around and have a change of personality.

I shall do myself up super awesome-ly and make heads turn, not just due to physical facade, but also the charisma that i'm bringing with me.

Insya allah. In the meantime, save some money E'en. Farrah Najwa too.
We're going for holidays this December, and August next year. take note. anyone else is welcome to come along.

August itinerary: Melbourne + Brisbane (and maybe Adelaide too)

:: Peanut Butter Yoghurt ::

some of u may have known.

I went for my PTD interview last wednesday. In a nutshell, it was horrendous. don't ask why, but most of my trusted government allies told me of how gruesome these panels could be, simply because of their intentions of massive provocation and aggravation. yes, leading to people storming out of the room, even breaking people into tears. honestly, i for one, whom has been quite a hard-head myself, was not ruled out by these possibilities. yes, i almost cracked, but luckily i got to hold my tears up. else, well, u know what happens if i do.

anyway, i dont wanna talk about work. has been super slow for me, despite having that curiosity and enthusias like a few weeks before i was officially employed. call me ungrateful, but nothing was right since day one. not only that i had no sense of drive in every aspect, but it got bad to the extent of colleagues sexually harrassing me. like, what the hell? not only one of them, who's bloody OLD and bloody SHORT held his arms around my shoulders on my FIRST event, but he and his f***ed up, childish, immature clique was talking about my breasts! what the hell weiii!!! u think i'm one freaking cheap b****? bloody hell, ur mentality and even educational background is WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYY below mine, and u had the guts to put me down to ur level? get a grip stupid old, married MEN. and to add salt to injury, i will be working hand in hand with these bastards for as long as i'm in this department! crap. if dato' knows about this i swear, u guys are sooooo losing ur jobs. ur freaking lucky i'm not exercising my loop of network. seriously, u think i LOVE to brag? f*** you i don't. if i do, then the whole media prima would've known who i am, and that bloody dato' would have lost his job months ago when i left! u bloody bastards are so lucky i kept my mouth shut and pretended i am nothing. DON'T TEMPT NOR CHALLENGE ME. man, i just yapped about work. shit.

On the other note, everything else remains stagnant. nothing's going greater nor is anything going worse. me and bob, still the same, going on our 3rd year this September 10th. yippie.
My little sister is getting engaged this October, and plans to get married by March. woohoo. Everyone in the family predicted accurately, that i'll be the last one standing, solo. oh well, guess my luck has never been great aye? will try to push it harder next time, just dont know when exactly. yeap, i'm losing my faith in "sky's awesome after rainy days", "there's nothing more wonderful that the exchange of love", blablabla. i'm a pessimist. nope, nothing new there. has always been. only managed to shrug it off for like 2 years or so, then i'm back to square one, due to people i'm attached with bombarding me with the same old attitude and story.

i am so giving up. i'm still quite sane, but having said that, insya allah i wont give up my life unwisely.

Congratulations to Nurul Mardziah Hamdan, a friend of 10 years who's getting married this 7th Syawal @ 27th September...thank you love for the invitation, I shall be there to witness your big day, before u fly off to land down under with dear husband :)

:: Idling ::

super sorry for disappearing too long.
i have yet to get my writing groove, hence the outdated entries.

wait for it.

:: Untitled ::

This week's awesome bestfriends:

Kleenex.
Minyak Cap Kapak.
Vicks.
Ubat Batuk Cap Ibu dan Anak.


........and more Kleenex for the broken heart.

:: Rants, part 10 ::

Bismillah....

work so far has been ok-ok. nothing too much to be excited about.
this is my first attempt in Branding, and last week has been a bit confusing. not just with the people, but also the procedures.

things haven't been quite fair to me, and so i feel. maybe i'm not grateful enough to Allah for everything that came my way....maybe because i've not bow down to His Almighty for quite sometime....

Like recent years, i plan not to miss any of my Terawikhs. Australia has thought me that the effort on not missing my 5-times prayer a day had helped so much in excelling in mostly everything i do. and i tend to forget that once i step foot back in good ol Malaysia 2 years ago. why did this happen, i can't quite figure why. but i am mostly sure that the reasons are of those that i'm not really fond of.

in relations to other matters, i believe i'm jumping too quickly. which in the end, i myself created a whole lot of vomitting-mess which i am not really keen on cleaning....YET. maybe i'm too stressed up with my surroundings. well, i stressed myself up actually. i didn't need to, but i subconsciously wanted to. i'm going coocoo. looking at friends who constantly make achievements in their lives seem to bring my morale straight down. not to mention self-esteem: negative on any scale that has ever made in history.

someone told me i watch too much TV, and that i'm becoming more pathetic and melodramatic every passing day. of course, that's just BAD.

and now i wonder if i'll ever get back on my feet, and actually take the initiative to execute all these proposals and ideas i have in my head. great ideas and proposals, i mean.

Still struggling to breathe and keeping my head.

:: The First Pillar ::

we tend to think too much, especially of a person you care for the most.

but have we ever try to stop and think, that most probably, the other person across that green green grass actually had always have us merely as a passing thought?

that's what makes us different. our hearts weren't the same. nor were our perceptions, assumptions, and level of tolerance AND honesty.

have you been honest to YOURSELF; first thing on the list.
it's about time we all do. i mean, who are we kidding, right?

honesty is the best policy; also the most horrendous act when it comes to applying to oneself.

ready, set, let's all hurt ourselves, then step back to reality and be great at it. :)