:: Peanut Butter Yoghurt ::

some of u may have known.

I went for my PTD interview last wednesday. In a nutshell, it was horrendous. don't ask why, but most of my trusted government allies told me of how gruesome these panels could be, simply because of their intentions of massive provocation and aggravation. yes, leading to people storming out of the room, even breaking people into tears. honestly, i for one, whom has been quite a hard-head myself, was not ruled out by these possibilities. yes, i almost cracked, but luckily i got to hold my tears up. else, well, u know what happens if i do.

anyway, i dont wanna talk about work. has been super slow for me, despite having that curiosity and enthusias like a few weeks before i was officially employed. call me ungrateful, but nothing was right since day one. not only that i had no sense of drive in every aspect, but it got bad to the extent of colleagues sexually harrassing me. like, what the hell? not only one of them, who's bloody OLD and bloody SHORT held his arms around my shoulders on my FIRST event, but he and his f***ed up, childish, immature clique was talking about my breasts! what the hell weiii!!! u think i'm one freaking cheap b****? bloody hell, ur mentality and even educational background is WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYY below mine, and u had the guts to put me down to ur level? get a grip stupid old, married MEN. and to add salt to injury, i will be working hand in hand with these bastards for as long as i'm in this department! crap. if dato' knows about this i swear, u guys are sooooo losing ur jobs. ur freaking lucky i'm not exercising my loop of network. seriously, u think i LOVE to brag? f*** you i don't. if i do, then the whole media prima would've known who i am, and that bloody dato' would have lost his job months ago when i left! u bloody bastards are so lucky i kept my mouth shut and pretended i am nothing. DON'T TEMPT NOR CHALLENGE ME. man, i just yapped about work. shit.

On the other note, everything else remains stagnant. nothing's going greater nor is anything going worse. me and bob, still the same, going on our 3rd year this September 10th. yippie.
My little sister is getting engaged this October, and plans to get married by March. woohoo. Everyone in the family predicted accurately, that i'll be the last one standing, solo. oh well, guess my luck has never been great aye? will try to push it harder next time, just dont know when exactly. yeap, i'm losing my faith in "sky's awesome after rainy days", "there's nothing more wonderful that the exchange of love", blablabla. i'm a pessimist. nope, nothing new there. has always been. only managed to shrug it off for like 2 years or so, then i'm back to square one, due to people i'm attached with bombarding me with the same old attitude and story.

i am so giving up. i'm still quite sane, but having said that, insya allah i wont give up my life unwisely.

Congratulations to Nurul Mardziah Hamdan, a friend of 10 years who's getting married this 7th Syawal @ 27th September...thank you love for the invitation, I shall be there to witness your big day, before u fly off to land down under with dear husband :)