:: Breather... ::

ku sudah bisa terbit dari lembah kemurungan, setelah tujuh kali pusingan hari.

I'm OK. :)

quoting the emerging local singer, slash Amar's brother..

"...hanya engkau yang mampu, taklukkan hati ini..."

AKU CINTAAAAAAAA oOooOoOooOOOoo

:: E'en being emotional. this time, happily. alhamdulillah ::

:: Song of the Month ::

The very first time that I saw your brown eyes
Your lips said hello and I said hi
I knew right then you were the one
But I was caught up in physical attraction
But to my satisfaction
Baby you were more than just a friend

And if you ever fall in love again
You must make sure that the lady is a friend
And if you ever fall in love so true
You must be sure that she feels the same way too

If I said that I would be your one and only
Promise that you'd never leave me lonely
I just want to be the one you need
I just want to be the one to serve you
Sometimes I feel as if I dont deserve you
I cherish every moment that we share


East 17 feat. Gabrielle
:: If You Ever ::

:: Like a Widow In Denial ::

everything that i have hoped for, vanished.

kuasa Allah tiada bandingan. sekali petik, and u end up drowning in your own comfort zone. And now i wanna become everyone else around me. I really do.

i'm eating my heart out. i don't know how to change things for the better anymore. nothing impresses me anymore. i tried so hard...still trying to make myself happy, and simply be content with everything that i have.

the only thing that stalls me from taking a glance at my watch is work. u got it. i am officially a pathetic, no-life, workahlic.

and i'm slowly losing everything, and everyone around me.
thanks JOB. u've done a great JOB indeed.
my life is a joke. a BIG ass joke. let us all laugh, the more the merrier. and now i'm back to the negative me.

NOW THAT'S JUST GREAT.

:: Aku Yang Hilang, Juga Kehilangan ::

As I was about to have that sweet serendipity....reality had to kick in and pull me out.
Bloody hell.

The last 3 months have not been so kind. This is the 1st weekend after three freaking months of serving my employment contract. And just when I'm about to breathe, Jom Heboh calls. Thursday til Monday people, i'll be burning my bloody skin and increasing the frequency of my migraine. Great.

Indeed I am lost. Lost in my own world. Even after countless moral support from practically everyone I am in contact with.

I am envious. Envious of my friends. Practically everyone is either enjoying their well-paying job, or just okay with their very-good-paying job. and where am i as compared to them? nowhere shit ass near, despite me having the highest fucking qualifications and most industrial exposure before i stepped into this thing called EMPLOYMENT.

No, I AM NOT HAPPY. I can be sometimes, but most of the time, i hate it.
I hate for being "too smart". Not only I wasted hundreds of thousands for my bloody Master's, I've wasted my years in this stupid thing in companies called "seniority". A degree holder, who seeks for MY, I repeat, MY expertise gets paid higher. Fucking hell. I can get a senior exec's job done within hours yet that bloody person wasn't even aware of the details! AND gets paid almost double my salary! WHAT THE FUCK MAN? WHAT THE BLOODY ASS FUCK?

Another DISADVATAGE of being "too smart" is that (quoting my friends and relatives):
"Kau ni belajar pandai2 ni, nanti susah laki nak siot....Laki mane yg pandai mcm kau, nak level up with u. Kang mamat 'pandai' pon bole seems like a bloody 'katak bawah tempurung' sebab takleh keep up ngan ape terngiang dalam kepala kau". U see, pandai salah, bangang salah.

ANOTHER DISADVANTAGE:
"Erm, you have a Master's...It's a bit unfair if i offer u a junior level executive right? Coz we can't afford to pay for your level of qualifications..."

OR

"Hmmm....u have a Master's Degree...why wanna work here? There are tons of opportunities for you out there, which also could pay you waayyy better".

FACT:
No one wants to hire a Master's graduate.
Solely because companies are under strict budget. They dont have money to pay you, and if they do still hire you, their "credibility" could be questioned, as a result of not matching someone's qualifications with the basic, floor salary.

Lama-kelamaan saya hilang segalanya.
I slowly lose my hype, my confidence, my interest, my hope, my dreams, my self-esteem, my drive, my focus, my everything, towards my used-to-be goals.

I've got to find something new.
Shit.

:: Dream Job? ::

Adding insult to injury.
I am complaining about my job; the job that most people would go.. WOooOoaAaaHhHHhh.....
but..i don't know....
I have not had a good, descent weekend for the past 2 months. God damn it, i've been working on every goddamn weekend!!!! Ingat dah terlepas from Jom Heboh in Malacca, sekali kene gi duty kat Shah Alam plak. hak elaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!

Now u tell me, is it really worth it? If I get paid AT LEAST RM300 a day in the weekends then fine, i'll do it. dah la bayar sikit, pastu replacement off pon takde! the best they could give was "come to work by 11am tomorrow ya!" ....WHAT THE?!!!!!

Tiap2 minggu dah keje weekend, habuk pon takde? agak-agak ar weeeiiiiiiii...ingat kitorg ni semua kuli batak takde life ke...ingat korang je yang ade family and life ke.......????!!!!

Bak kate Bob, "Gi makan taik ah!"

:: Bagai Menelan Duri Yang Manis ::

how do u deal with people who are super addicted to having "split personality"?
i am speechless.
i am utterly disappointed.
i am having an enormous empathy, so enormous that i wish i could turn back time, and not grow up...and be accounted for every little teeny-weeny finger up-ping hair-flicking snorting gestures u make; which inevitably WILL back fire u.


aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

no, my dear loyal readers. i did not screw anything up. it's just the biggest ironic agenda to ever, and i mean EVER take place in my life, so far. having the truth to revealed has never been this hurtful. i mean, it didn't happen to me. but the fact that it happened to someone so so so close to me, and had ME revealing the truth FOR her..just..breaks...me....

ya allah...please help us be better in our judgements.
help us be the best in what we can be.
help us abstain from accommodating our desires too much and end up getting hurt too much, that getting back on our feet seem impossible.

i feel sick. i am sad. i am....i am....i think i just lost myself.

:: Message In A Bottle ::

sorry No Doubt n Brandon Boyd of Incubus, for "borrowing" ur song title.

Dear Little One,

U have bluntly deceived me.

Worst still, I feel utterly deceived.

I can't believe you'd go to the extent of creating "fitnah" to a super holy man, whom taught us how to recite the Quran. The best part is, the "fitnah" was pertaining your own flesh and blood.

And off u go, indulging on the temporary bliss u gained from being all ignorant and arrogant, while u let the others gulping nails and thorns that you've camouflaged with our favourite strawberry shortcake.

And u still have the chicks to ask the holy man to persuade us onto blessing you on your social-encounter-that-turned-out-wrong? Good lord, what have you done?

That's why people call u the LITTLE ONE. your thinking capacity and maturity are too "little". You've just added insult to injury. Get a grip. Orang yang ingat Allah takde perangai macam ni, maka tak payah la nak berpura ingat tuhan walhal kamu hanya insan yang hipokrit.

Oh, if you're wondering why "Message In A Bottle"?. It's because I can't give it to the Little One straight in the face. I've just told you, Little One is such a hypocrite. So, the only resort left is this...having the "ocean" bringing the bottle to the rightful receiver.

........woaaaahhhhh..........

:: Plain Old Saturday ::

Happy Valentine's Day to those who celebrate. Me? As much as I would love to, have not been celebrating since...erm.....2005? Bob doesn't like the idea of us celebrating something that has to do with another religion..well, not that he's being all racial or religious, but yeah...He doesn't even celebrate birthdays! but i have to admit, that i'm simply thankful due to his efforts on still bringing me out for a simple, romantic dinner for my birthday, just because he knows it means a lot to me :)

And yeah, as much as we want to just relax and enjoy our saturday, today had to be the day of the lovers....which means traffic jam and tons of people everywhere. now that'll be the LEAST relaxing. plus, my boss just mentioned about me having to report for duty for the "Hutan Kita" event at Bukit Kiara. there goes my weekend, AGAIN.

Work has been good. i think. I've migrated from Planning unit to Government Relations. yeah, more outdoor stuff and CSR for me. mor exposure ain't it? good for my portfolio that's for sure!

Oh ya, the girls and I have made a point to have a weekly activity of Literati a.k.a. Scrabble, via online yahoo games :) It may sound a bit nerdish, but hell it has been fun! at least we're improving our vocabulary every week okaaayyyy :) my vocab is running shitier and shitier, so yeah, i NEED the exercise.

I'm thinking of another Master's. Media and Communication perhaps, with AIBD. But that'll mean forking up about RM40k (if i'm not mistaken) ON TOP OF getting the scholarship. Mane nak cari duit ah? Nak buat PhD lagi la mahal! grrrrr.....if only my dad was Warren Buffet or Donald Trump. I won't have to worry about money for education...or better still, not having to worry about getting super great education prior to getting a well-paying job! haaiiihhh.....

Ok enough. Liyana, sila bersyukur dengan ape yg kamu ade.
ALHAMDULILLAAAHHHHHHH.............

*beep* your battery is running low.

:: The Solemnization ::

Thank u Farah for having me at your big day :)
And Khair, these are some of the pictures for u to see, nanti yg lain kene tunggu facebook la i guess :P

:: Boeh Sun ::

Saye nak spread my virus in the office.

I know ur reading this Fiqa, GET BACK TO WORK! :P
Fiza Jai, u too!
And u too Shikin!

ngahahahahahhahahahhahahhaha

- entry ini tidak membawa sebarang erti, sekian -

:: Sharifah Khairiyah ::

I know i've not spent a lot of time with u, khair...
No, i'm not gonna use "work", or "health" or "boyfriend" as excuse(s)...
I know, has been my fault on not sparing that 2-quality-minutes of my time just to say hi or asking u out for an afternoon cuppa....

I hope Sydney will treat u well...
Please do sms me ur Aussie number a.s.a.p. ok?

Have fun, break a leg..eventhough it's work :) I'm sure you'll have tons of stories to tell us...
Hope to see u my little midget, soon, come April 24th...or maybe 6 months from now....

I will always miss u, and yes, I will always be there for u, just like how u were there for me during my times in Melbourne...

Thank you for being an angel...have a safe trip Khair.

I LOVE YOU TO BITS!

yours sincerely,
The one u guys nicked "SuperBrain" *wink*

:: Confessions of a Fat E'en ::

Just a month ago, i realized that i've put on too much weight.
Yes, i eat and eat AND eat, when i'm stressed out. Tak masuk bile period lagi, lagi la byk makan!
So. I weighed myself. Subhanallah, i was 53.5kg!!!!! Mofo.

So. I started dieting. No nasi until i reach my used-to-be weight of 49kg. Ye kawan2, i put on 4.freakin.5 kg within 2 months. Smue salah tempat keje yg sgt stressful. ish!

So. diet punye diet, 2 days ago, berat dah turun 50.9kg..ya allah happy gile babi. I'm talkin that much of weight within a month's diet of NO NASI ok. erm, chocolates tu still byk la consumption nye, takleh buat ape :P

SEMALAM. saye pergi Zuup kat OU with dear Shikin, Shahrin n Fiqa. LEPAS TU. order la chicken confetti soup. AND fries. I wanted to order a starter-sized soup, tapi my colleagues ni kate "woi, kicik sgt la...agak2 laaa". so yeah, i then ordered REGULAR sized soup. Yg datang nye, bowl mcm DUA E'EN boleh makan. tapi, saye habiskan juga, kerana sayang bayar mahal2, DAN saye habiskan HALF of my Chips in Pail. ERK.

HARI INI. I weighed myself. Subhanallah.....I'm back at 52kg!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#W*^*%#_)*%@$(%@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
After all the hardwork?!!!! Oh cmon man, cut me some slack!!!! Why can't i be like my friends? The type that losses appetite when in stress?! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh benci! All my friends are getting skinnier, and getting a whole lot more money, a whole lot prettier, etc etc, while i stay STAGNANT, and even worse, FATTER and FATTER?! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh not faiiirrr!!!!!

I'm depressed. Seriously.
I AM A FAT HUMAN. I AM 52KG and 159CM IN HEIGHT. AND I CAN NO LONGER FIT INTO ANY OF MY SIZE-24 JEANS.
I AM SUPER FAT.

:: Kerenah Manusia ::

Macam smuorg kate, kite keje mane2 pon mesti ade politik.
To some, it's just minor, to others, might just be a good solid reason for suicide.

Me? i swallow thorns everyday.
My lepak hours have gone down so significantly. and that includes my weekends too.

I always wonder why people work so hard just to get proper living (which varies according to individuals of course). I get slighted most of the time, not only because so many amongst us (including your sincerely) do not get that "acknowledgement" for our work, but instead, adding insult to injury, our work is being "altered" by a few "touch-ups", subsequently having the "superior" party jumping and shouting hallelujah! How sick can the world be? Why must there be people such as these? Why can't anyone just be happy and accept the fact that there are others "smarter" than u?...oh c'mon, even with my Master's, i still consider myself an infant in every way.

Ade pula manusia yg suka cerita "gebang". Cerita letup2 bagai nak rak, seperti die tahu all the nitty-gritty details of the udang di sebalik the batu. orang lain tahu cume ade udang sebalik batu kan? die ni nak gempak, bole kate sbnarnye udang galah baru umur 3 minggu sorok blakang batu tu. yih!

I get so annoyed when someone brings up the conversation about work (and organizational culture of course), then tells the whole world how stressful it is,and then comparing others' experiences of which seems to be of a super minor component of his/her encounters with Mr Pressure. Eh hello, you think you're the only one ke yang bekerja and alami smue ni?

Emmy would know about this person. Person A ni tak habis2 cakap "ala, rilek ajeee" to me. Imagine this; i have been in the company for like 3 months ONLY, as compared to Person A who has been around for years. But, the funny thing is, i know sooooo much more, and deal with a wider scope of clients. Remember, i've only been there for 3 months, and i have a lot more beneficial contributions to the company than Person A. Worst thing is that I've found out 3 of the people before me, whom had the same job scope as I do, quit just after 2-3 months of service. Lots of people also have been mentioning how hard it is to be in my department, and that so far, i'm the most "cekal hati". Ok, we'll see how long this "cekal"ness can stay ahhh...

ok, i'm sleepy. gnite.
Ya Allah berikanlah umatMu kekuatan untuk menempuh cabaran dunia akhir zaman. Amin.

:: Hormones At Playgrounds ::

In my mid 20s, my hormones has yet to stabilize, hence bringing chaos not just to my behaviour, but of course also to the quality of my judgements.

What happens when kids go to playgrounds? They have fun....and, they get hurt.
Dear friends would know what's up with me, and this entry.

Quoting songs.

Oh, life is bigger
It's bigger than you
And you are not me
The lengths that I will go to
The distance in your eyes
Oh no, I've said too much
I set it up

That's me in the corner
That's me in the spotlight, I'm
Losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don't know if I can do it
Oh no, I've said too much
I haven't said enough
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try

Every whisper
Of every waking hour I'm
Choosing my confessions
Trying to keep an eye on you
Like a hurt lost and blinded fool, fool
Oh no, I've said too much
I set it up
Consider this
Consider this
The hint of the century
Consider this
The slip that brought me
To my knees failed
What if all these fantasies
Come flailing around
Now I've said too much
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try

But that was just a dream
That was just a dream

But that was just a dream
Try, cry, why try?
That was just a dream
Just a dream, just a dream
Dream

kuberanjak dari tidurku
mencoba melukis pagiku
berharap keajaibankan datang
daun tak bergerak
sang burung terdiam menanti senyuman

berdiri termangu membisu
apakah yang akan terjadi
akankah keindahan menyapa
rumput tak berpisah
tunduk tak bergoyang menanti sentuhan

berat tuk melangkah
memulai hari ini
namun semua itu sirna
kau kini ada

semua kecupan darimu cukup membuat duniaku terasa lebih terang
secangkir teh hangat darimu cukup tuk awali hari terindah dalam hidupku

Happy 2009.
A toast to us, the small, quite insignificant group of people striving for a good meal, and being promised a thousand roses; with thorns.

:: Peace Note ::

My previous entry is to lepaskan kemarahan.
Coz i dont have the liberty to just shout it out in reality.

Sorry again, I feel so much better now :)
Thanks to Fiza. I love you Nur Hafizah A.P... sangat2.

:: Sakit Hati ::

Kenapa kan, I have ZERO privacy and freedom on what i wanna do?
This is MY LIFE, MY BLOG, MY THOUGTS, MY FEELINGS. Comprehende?

Yang kanan report, yang kiri report.
Sedar tak, ade org lain dlm NETWORK terdekat i.e. the immediate family and friends yang JAUH LAGI BURUK perangai dan hati dari aku? Smue pon nak point finger kat aku, sebab ape? mulut aku laser. u wanna know why? u sendiri tau i was never this bad. YOU pushed me to become who i am. Dulu aku selalu diam, simpan dalam hati, senyum, and end up satu dunia menyakitkan hati aku, smue igt diorg bagus sgt and whatsoever.

Penat aku dok PROVE to everyone i'm good in AT LEAST one thing. tak cukup ke aku blaja skit nye hebat, keje baru beberape bulan org atas dah note my increasingly positive performance dan banyak lagi? Konon org yang menutup aurat, yang konon berbahasa lembut depan muke tu baik. Hati die taknak investigate pulak? how these people punye la kutuk, punye la menjerumuskan diri ke lembah haram lagi teruk dari aku, yang bermuka dua tu jugak yg tak habis2 dpt pujian. ade ke org camni dibuat benchmark against me? WHAT THE?

Btol la, dunia skang ni, org mmg suke judge a book by its cover. suke hati korang la kan?
Nak take my ugly words against me? fikir dulu seribu kali, u, and ur social network, and your family smuenye jauh lagi hebat ke? just because i don't say my prayers 5 times a day means i am horrible?

How about me reciting Quran everyday during Ramadhan?
How about me reciting Yaasin everytime after prayers, sedekahkan kat saudara-mara di alam barzakh?
How about me praying for my parents' neverending wealth in terms of money, knowledge, patience and health?
How about me reciting al-fatihah, ayat kursi and selawat nabi everytime i step in and out of my car, and before going into the house, for my protection and to sedekah to my deceased family?
How about me constantly praying for my sister's success in graduating after so many years of study?

Nak sangat brag about orang lain punye baik and my kejahatan kan?
Do all these people u claim to be BAIK do all of the above? like seriously?
I know for a fact that tons of my close friends are like me. Yes, we don't wear tudung, we don't tutup aurat sepenuhnya, we can be laser-mouthed, but sorry, the last thing we want is to hurt others around us, unless you fellas aggravate us to act as so.

........

Yes i admit. I don't have the looks, I don't have the accent, I don't have the charms. All I have is my superbrains. And yes, the boys and the mean girls have always called me "busuk" back in school. Solely because I've always had bad hair, no sense of fashion and no superbody. But one fact they all know is that i'm on of the school's top student and athlete. Full stop.


p/s: Maafkan saye jika terkasar bahasa. lama sangat pendam.

:: Liyana, bragging about her good qualities. Over and out! ::

:: The Normal Post ::

like always, at this time around, everybody will be wishing everyone else happy new year, happy holidays, selamat tahun baru untuk umat Islam... and then the ever-so-famous statement will appear in everyone's social network site(s), saying "My New Year resolution is.........blablablabla". This is where everybody strive to prove to others that they could achieve what's likely to be UNachieveable SLASH IMPOSSIBLE for them to achieve,....where the fact remains that nothing that they say is the UN or IM because seriously, it's all up to YOU, u know?

Yes, i am the cynical, sarcastic, annoying bitch ur neighbour has been blabbering about. hey, do u really care that much? dont u have anything better to do, STILL?

Ok, my NEW YEAR RESOLUTION is........(drum rolling, skaters crashing on each other, dogs reaping the trash plastics, engines starting....???)....to get rid of the negative vibes around me! oh yeah..a friend of mine bluntly told it to my face, on how so many of my so-called friends have been scorning me, criticizing me and bad-mouthing about me, when they themselves are the real culprits and attitude-criminals. Surprisingly, some of them who were so busuk hati towards me, remained still, busuk hati, and were so bad at keeping it underwraps that it took me less than 5 minutes to see what they've done behind my back. Ya Allah, mmg Tuhan Maha Kuasa, nak tunjuk orang2 mcm ni....and those friends whom i've kept distant with, has been nothing but NICE to me, and thank you so much..coz that's all that i ever asked for :)

A dear friend, also a mother-figure to me, has said this time and time again, and I will try to patch this on my already JAHAT attitude.

"Don't say anything about a person, if u have nothing good to say about him/her."

True, coz at the end of the day, that does nothing but to project who u really are in the eyes of others. Agree?. u should :)

Wawa's getting married this January 1st, then it's Farah Nadziah's, January 30th...elok lah tu, sekor awal bulan, sekor akhir bulan. Congratulations in advance, and NO, my turn is nowhere soon, thank you.

:: Persoalan ::

I am a superwoman.

am i really?

then how come, ..........

:: 0100 hours ::

It's 1 a.m. and i just got back from Seri Pacific KL. Yes, the hotel beside PWTC. What was I doing there u ask? mcm biase la, bukan untuk bersuka ria, but merely untuk bekerja. Majalah 3 won the Anugerah Penerbitan TV (Dokumentari) Terbaik, for the entry "The Other Life of Japan", awarded by the Ministry of Agriculture.

Aaaa so now u know where I work. heh. I don't know the significance of mentioning where I'm attached to...and I'm still wondering why...I blame this on my superior, whom asked "Do your friends know where ur attached to now?". I bluntly said, "No, why? Penting ke?...I like to just keep it low..rase tak cukup penting untuk sesape lagi nak tahu i ni keje mane...bole?"

Ok, since I can't shut my eye, due to 2 straight cups of black coffee and excessive sugar, Faiza, here's the "questionnaire" u tagged. Damn u woman! Wait, i'll tag first aaahh...
haaaa besar2 daku bagi naaa...ok, ready, set, GO!

1) Do you think you're hot?
I've always had this super low self-esteem. Nope, i'm dead boring.

2) Upload your favorite picture of you!



3) Why do you like that picture?
Emmy snapped it, with Alia and Farrah (or was it Farah Nadz? ya allah, tak igt!). It was December 24th, 2006. It was our quality time together before I flew to Melbourne.

4) When was the last time you ate pizza?
Shyzers. Last month maybe?

5) The last song you listen to?
Sultans of Swing by Dire Straits.

6) What are you doing right now besides this?
Texting Mr. Bob goodnight. He worries so much about me..which is very comforting :)

7) What name you would prefer besides yours?
Aira. That'll be my future daughter's name, insyaallah :)

Tagged peeps:

1. Feezabelle
2. Khair
3. Aiman
4. Fiza Jai
5. Anas Hazwan
   

8) Who is number one?
The girl with the swirly-background Swatch, who drove a black Kembara, and constantly bitched about me to her midget friend and "bengkok" mutant. hehe. Apart from that, she has always been my confidant, the one who soooo understands who i am, where i come from, and the rocky roads i've skated through. yeah skated, coz it was a bloody slow journey and had me suffer with tons of bums and bruises; and again, apart from the other two donkeys mentioned beforehand.

9) Number three is having a relationship with?
Oh, this one cannot say. He'll come himpap my face with his bum! :P But I am sooooo glad that he was who he was, is who he is, and will be, whom I strongly believe he will be...a great man with a great heart, apart from A-class sense of humour and sarcasm.

10) Say something about number five?
I knew him through Myspace, back in 2003 tak silap, right before he took off for Nottingham, UK. He was my long-distance bestie..He called me at least once a week from UK, not to flirt, never..but purely of great friendship. We were friends via Myspace, MSN and phone for a year before we actually met and had supper at Uptown. He is very protective of me, and will do almost anything to keep me away from those who have hurt/is hurting me. Yeap, he is the one and only, jambu Anas Hazwan.

11)How about number four
My bestie at BMW :) I love her for her selamba-ness, and the fact that she sells nice Bajoo online hehe. Dan die kurus, saye jeles ngan die ni sbb badan tak naik2 gak, walaupon setelah saye naik 5 kilo. grrrrrr. We like to consult each other on our career paths. Tak tahu kenape, but it seems to be helping A LOT! :)

12)Who is number two.
The midget I was talking about. Correct. She's my shoulder to cry on, apart from Fiza and Aiman that is...she is walking on that gewy and greasy thread of life..where if she pulls too hard, she may slip so quickly, she couldn't even remember how she got down there. She never, i mean never gives up on someone that easily. Yes, she holds strong faith on everyone, especially those she really cares about..because to her, life shouldn't be easy... at the same time shouldn't be too harsh.

Just because I didn't tag u, does not mean that I dont love u...
It's really because of the "quota" of this tagging session..else i would've tagged EVERYONE in my list!

Nite world. Work awaits me at 1000 hours.

:: Calendar ::

:: Media Prima's Television Network Screenings 2009 ::
- with Marlia -

:: Muzik - Muzik Separuh Akhir ::
- with bestie at work, Shiks -

:: Aquaria, KLCC ::
- Khairul Nizam with the huge arse fishes -

:: One Utama Shopping Centre, PJ ::
- with the smallest Merry-go-round ever -

Work has not allowed me to spare more time for Bob and friends...
and yes Fiza, I do miss u, khair and aimi too...this is heartbreaking...
I managed to spend some time with Aref n Zana last Thursday...and we've missed each other so badly already :(
I'm still waiting for THE results; some of you are already aware of what's this about.
I'd better keep it under wraps first.
I don't wanna put too high on hopes. Bismillah...

It's 12am and I'm still staring at the box lined with LEDs, and hands pushing ever so lightly on this square, plastic PVC-like plank scattered with boxy pop-up buttons.

I need coffee. tomorrow, indeed.
Shit. Training n meeting tomorrow.
That's it. WORK IS GETTING TO ME.

I NEED A MIRACLE